The Librarians

You were my best friend,

and you left me in that caravan park with a $772 bill!

That Christine. I think she'd be great for the job.

I'm afraid she doesn't meet the criteria.

I'll dob you in. I seen what you did.

Christine Grimwood will be taking up the position of children's librarian,

effective immediately.

'Cledan'? ( Laughs )

His name's Declan. What, are you dyslexic?

Yeah.

Jacinta McSweeney from the Premier's Office.

I just wanted to talk to you

about the Premier visiting this library during Book Week.

I just thought I'd let you know

that your children's librarian doesn't have any parking fines.

But she does have five pending charges for drug importation.

And is there, then,

a more fitting occasion

to introduce this Government's Children's Literacy lnitiative

than Book Week?

For it is within Book Week that children are inspired...

..and...

..encouraged...

..to...

..to...

I'm sorry.

I can't go on. ( Clears throat )

Forgive me - who are you?

Um... Frances O'Brien, head librarian.

So, you're responsible for all of this?

Oh! ( Laughs ) It was nothing, really. I just...

You gorgeous thing.

You're the one.

I've been looking for you. Have you?

All my life.

OK...well...

Oh...

Uh... um, welcome, everyone, to...

..ooh, Middleton lnteractive

Learning Centre.

Uh, I'm - oh! - Frances O'Brien.

I'm the... head librarian

and...ooooh, ooh...

Now, I don't know where to look.

Oh. Oh...

Um...oh... Look at me.

Ooooh, ooh...

Oh! ( Giggles ) Frances...

Fran... Frances.

Hmm?

What's the date?

Uh... it's the 6th.

Are you alright, because you were actually just, um...

Oh, for a minute I thought the Premier was coming today.

Oh.

Oh, you'd better have your shower, I guess.

Yep.

Why are you wearing your good dress?

I want to check if it's right for the Premier.

Can you help me with the zip?

Oh, I must have washed it in hot water.

I don't... ( Sighs )

No, I think you've just put on a couple of pounds.

It's... Hmm.

Now. before the break. you'll remember. we were talking about legs

and how they're our connection with gravity.

Now. watch carefully as I bend back.

over the ball.

using my ribs...

.. very careful. and arms right back.

I can 't actually do this myself.

but if we get a shot of Cherie over here.

we can see how magnificently she's doing it.

Cherie. this is exactly what I'm talking about - your legs are...

Oh, sorry. Uh, Frances, did you want to see me?

Oh, Ky, I'm on the phone.

.. relaxation. I love to see this kind of Pilates.

Look - all the ribs...

"..fast asleep."

Oh, this is going to play beautifully in court, Christine.

Now, just turn that final page again...

"Here's our green sheep, fast asleep."

Dad, can I have my 20 bucks now?

Kylie, I told your mother it was going to be 1 0, alright?

Don't you say anything, or... ( Puffs )

Have you thought about who your character witnesses are going to be?

Well... Dawn really likes me.

Ooh, I love falafel.

Actually, they're for tonight.

I'm second-in-charge.

Um, I really think it needs to be the boss.

Dawn's second-in-charge.

God help us. No, you're going to have to get what's-her-name.

Oh, I can't! She hates my guts.

Well, then, make her like you.

How? She's not like other people.

She's still angry at me for leaving her in a caravan park 20 years ago.

Well, apologise! Make it up to her. Be nice.

Christine, we either convince the judge that this library's been your salvation,

or we don't, and he locks you up.

Get her on the stand.

Sorry, Ky. Couldn't get Father Harris off the phone.

I was after that seating plan. Has it arrived?

See? She looks friendly enough. Huh! So does a koala.

But if you get too close...

Alright, Kylie, Jason - let's go.

Dawn, we're going to need a filing check on the AV hire shelf.

It's a mess over here. It's just a...

I could do that filing check if you want.

Sorry, was that someone looking for me?

No, that was just my solicitor.

Oh, we'll let Dawn

take care of those, I think.

What, has there been

more trouble, has there?

No, he just wanted to talk to me about the case,

because it's coming up

and he said we need to start getting our witnesses together.

Well, I'd really prefer you didn't do that during library hours.

Same! That's just what I said to him.

"Sorry, not now - I've got a children's library to run!"

When's the case coming up? Three weeks.

Well, we've got Book Week in three weeks.

I can't have staff not focused. That's just what I said to Piero!

I said, "We've got the Premier coming, and nothing will distract me

"from making that a day none of us will forget."

Welcome to Book Week.

And here's a book I'd like to open!

Frances - Father Harris for you.

Again.

Oh. Mmm, oh.

Would... ( Groans )

Frances, I have made some

not insubstantial progress on my poem.

Good.

Shall I read you a few lines of 'On the Premier's Arrival'?

Well, not now, I'm...

Hello, Father?

Frances, this was very kind of you, to leave all this food for the shelter.

Oh, it was nothing.

No, no, it was something.

In fact, it looks like

you've emptied out your fridge.

No, I just felt like it had been a while since I had contributed to the needy,

so last night I had a bit of a cook-up.

I like that one.

Well, I'm sorry you're going to miss your schnitzel,

but shouldn't the underprivileged enjoy some deep-fried food?

How long until the Premier visits?

Three weeks. Now, have you organised your day off yet?

Will Christine be there?

Why? Oh, I don't know.

No reason.

Do you want this salami? Yes, please.

Frances, are you on another diet?

No! Why? ( Laughs )

Do you think I should be, Father?

Well, I'd be a bit of a dill

if I said yes, wouldn't l?

Darren just emailed this through.

Oh, Father Harris, the seating plan for the Premier's visit's just arrived.

I'm flat chat. Look, I'll see you tonight.

Oh, yes - tell Nada I'll be bringing some of my homeless friends.

I'm sure they'll have an appetite.

Oh, good on you, Father.

Perhaps now I could tempt you with a quick stanza?

No.

No, you couldn't.

So, Lebanon, we've got Nada's falafels, which are so more-ish.

Vietnam, we've got Barbie's rice-paper rolls. Yummy.

I just can't stop eating these falafels. What is your secret, Nada?

We've got another batch hidden in the fridge.

Have you?

Hey, Frances, you'll have to try one of Nada's falafels.

They're incredible.

A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

Do you think you might have had enough moments, Dawn?

Back on the front counter, please.

I'm sure we don't need the entire staff in here, do we, Nada?

Oh, no, you stay up there, Lachie.

That's alright, 'cause you're busy... up there...aren't you?

He's finished.

Is he? Oh, well, no, I think this

could be higher. Don't you think...?

I need someone to help me write out the names of the countries.

Oh, well, there you go. No. ( Chuckles )

Didn't you need me to do something today?

Not today, thank you.

Ooh, think about it.

The, uh... ( Clears throat )..hopper.

The hopper. It's bin day. So...

Oh, well, that is sweet of you, but that's Barbie's job,

and I know you're busy with all your preparations and whatnot,

but do you think you could clean up this mess?

That's my chilli chicken.

Is it?

Oh. Nada, will Australia be

represented in one of the 80 dishes?

Neil's mum's made rum balls.

I'm sure we'll all be much the richer for that experience.