The Librarians

I'm so sorry, Christine.

I just can't offer you the position.

Come on, Franny - it'd be great fun!

Old friends, doing their thing.

# She asked her mother, mother, mother

# For 50 cents, cents, cents... #

It's our anniversary.

How do you arrive at a date when you're...

Oh, it's not called 'living in sin' anymore, is it? It's...

Actually, it was the day that I couldn't think about the next day

without seeing Nikko in it.

So, pre-prison, then?

Frances, that's so romantic!

What? Well, you and Terry.

You've got the whole house to yourselves.

Ah. I've got tinea again.

But the fact is, she's your daughter-in-law, Mrs Busselari,

and you don't have a say in what laundry detergent she uses,

so how about a lap of the rosary, and you think about it?

Sorry, Father.

Frances. Are you done?

Because I wouldn't want to interrupt.

You're not usually one for a midweek sin.

Has somebody said something?

No. I need to confess.

I can't. I've got a funeral.

Oh, something terrible has happened, Father.

Yes. Someone died and I have to bury them.

I'll only be five minutes. Can I have that in writing?

I've been unfaithful.

Have you?

Well, I guess if I take the tollway, I've got an extra 1 0 minutes up my sleeve.

How long has this been going on?

Since...

..yesterday.

That long. OK.

What happened?

I don't know.

I mean, we're one week out from Book Week and it's chaos in there,

and I was running late for work

because one of my girls had 'accidentally' spilt Terry's liquid nails

on the Nimbus steering wheel.

And when I finally got to work...

OK. The other guys have gone back to their cells.

Tell me exactly what you're wearing. Kitten.

Mmm... ( Sighs )

..you know the diamante-encrusted, red velour cami

you brought back from Hong Kong?

Oh. yeah. yeah. yeah. I do. yeah.

Well... I'm taking it off right now.

Oh. so am l. babe.

Oooh!

Oooh!

Oh, it's just my sweaty skin now, big boy.

Oh, I'm all yours, so...take me!

Oh, you big, bad... It's just not happppening for me.

I'm sorry. What?

What did you say? No.

I can't do it like this. Chrissy. Oh, Nikko, I'm nearly there!

Sorry. babe. I need to see flesh!

I need to see my babies. I need to see my bubbalinos!

Well, get the photos! Get the photos I sent you!

Nikko, have you got them?

Oh. Iook. I lost them at cards.

Oh, for Christ's sake, Nikko!

Look. I'm sorry. babe!

I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry.

I... I cannot be... beli... believe

what I have just witnessed, in my own office!

I'm very disappointed in you, Christine.

You're disappointed? ( Laughs )

I have to go back to that chemist!

Ahhh!

OK. What about this one?

Sorry, Franny, sorry.

It's just, you know, with Nikko locked up, I just get so...!

And he had his weekly phone call this morning, and...

You are the children's librarian!

Yeah, I know. It's just... Sorry.

It's all so...with my court case in a week,

and, Franny, I still don't have my character witnesses locked in.

And the Premier will be here in a week!

We all have our stresses to manage!

Yeah, but at least you get to release the valve. ( Clicks tongue )

Oh, Bridget needs to be picked up from tennis tomorrow afternoon.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah.

I can get her after I take Bernadette and Kathleen to Guides.

Oh, OK. Good.

Um, Sister Mary Luke asked if we could give her a hand with the chairs

on Thursday night,

for, um...oh, it's

parent-teacher interviews.

Alright. Mm-hm.

Oh, it's tables too, probably.

Yep. Tables. Same as last year.

Oh, that's right. Yes.

It was the same as last year.

Probably want the urn out too.

Oh, we'll need to, um... um...

..plug that in.

Yeah. Yeah, 'cause it's...

Oh! God, it's great for releasing the tension, isn't it?

What activity is scheduled for the children's library today?

Frog fun. Stories, craft, make a jumping frog.

No, I'm going to need you on the front counter first,

'cause I've got half the staff in returns, and it...

OK. Yeah. OK?

Yep.

Ooh, sorry! Yeah.

If you could have seen her on my ergonomic ball, Father!

Yes...

It was disgusting.

Uh, Terry, it's me.

Um...what are you wearing?

What, the good beige ones?

I have told you not to wear them! They are just for Sundays!

Take them off, put them straight in the dirty clothes basket!

And we need milk.

Oh...

It's not as if I didn't have enough on my plate.

We've got the Premier arriving next Wednesday,

we're in the middle of an amnesty...

A...what?

Well, you know, Father, the amnesty - to get all the overdue books back.

We waive the fines and there are no questions asked.

It's an act of forgiveness towards the community.

Oh.

Do you know how many reserves we have on 'The Da Vinci Code'?

I'm sorry? Have a guess.

Oh, I don't know.

I guess it's pretty popular.

Yeah. ( Chuckles ) 72!

72 people waiting for...oh, five months

while you hung onto it.

I'm...sorry.

Oh, don't be silly.

That's what these amnesties are for. No questions asked.

Frances, I've got the flyers for tonight's Wednesday Night Workshop.

Roll up, roll up - it's The Art of Meeting People!

Oh! Upsadaisy!

Oh, hello. I'm... I'm Dawn.

I hope you can make it. Do the best you can. No pressure.

There will be a light supper.

Um...oh, and, Frances -

I'll be making my fruit punch again!

Remember how much they loved it at the citizenship ceremony?

NEW ClTlZENS: I pledge my loyalty to Australia and its people...

Whose democratic beliefs I share...

NEW ClTlZENS:..whose democratic beliefs I share...

The light supper will only be light, though, so...

..maybe we could catch up for a meal after, on...

.:041 7 049...

Dawn, I need you in the returns room.

Oh, Dawn, by the way, I heard about your award,

and I think it's so special you've been honoured.

I also think it's about time...

Yes, alright, Nada.

Could we perhaps focus on the people we're here to serve?

Next, please.

Hey.

Ah, thank you.

Just these, then?

How about a real effort next time

to get these back by the due date?

OK?

We can all just try that little bit harder, can't we?

You OK there, sweetheart?

Huh? Yep. Yeah, it's easy.

Right, I want all these reshelved by 6:30.

The local paper's coming to take a photo of Dawn.

She's won a special award for being disabled.

Ooh, well... ( Chuckles )..yeah. No, not really.

The award's actually from WorkCover,

for getting back on the job after the accident.

Oh, good on you, Dawn. That's great. Thanks.

I thought me taking the workshop tonight would make for a good photo.

I mean, who would have thought

somebody who fell 30m from a flying fox...

Dawn, pride is a sin.

So, Dawn, what will we have to do

at these meeting people workshops?

Oh, well, I thought, um, lots of role-playing,

Iike, improvising little scenes like "Oh! Hello, sir. You look busy today!"

Out of the way, fatso.

Oh, alrighty, I might pull back on the improvisation a little.

Probably need a script.

Not a script. Impro, you said.

I know - um... I could set it in Paris,

along a river,

in a crowded cafe, and...

..a woman needs a seat!

A common mistake among new writers, Dawn.

Let the writer-in-residence give you some free advice.

You're not the bloody writer-in-residence!

Not officially, no.

Andre Gide said it best when he said,

"Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself."

Oh.

You with me?