Critters

Man: Radar control. This is prison transport 9961,

requesting permission to land. Over.

Man 2: We've been expecting you, pt 9961.

Please confirm payload. Over.

Man: Crite prisoners... Eight of them. Over.

Man 2: There seems to be a problem, pt 9961.

My advance notice cube states there should be

10 crite prisoners aboard your ship. Please explain. Over.

Man: Well, we did have 10 at one time,

but the crites were eating everything in sight.

We had to kill two of them to make the food last longer. Over.

Man 2: Roger, pt 9961.

You're cleared for landing in docking bay b.

Send crite prisoners through detox and immunization.

Put them in the termination lock as soon as you land.

Shock control will be standing by. Over.

Man: Roger, radar control.

This is warden zanti.

Get shock control over to the termination lock.

The crites are up to something.

Guard: Explosion in termination lock.

Damage report.

Guard: Two dead and three wounded, sir.

Escapes?

Guard: The crites. All eight of them.

The crites have stolen a ship!

- Damn. - Get the bounty hunters.

Warden: I have a job for you.

They've stolen one of our fastest ships,

with enough fuel to cross the galaxy 10 times over.

So fuel is not their concern.

However, you must stop them before they can feed.

You will receive full payment, as usual,

only upon evidence of their destruction.

Brad, April, breakfast!

Brad, I need to get in there!

April: Come on, you little snot, I'm in a hurry!

Mom, Brad won't let me in the bathroom!

Hello? Yeah, hold on.

April, telephone!

Brad, you're a real jerk!

Mom, Brad's hogging the bathroom.

Two minutes.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Jay, breakfast!

Helen, was that Charlie calling?

- Helen: No, it was Steve. - Steve?

Yeah? Happy birthday!

Yeah?

Well, what'd you get?

- No! Come on. - Hey. Steve who?

- The new boy at school. - April: No!

Whatever happened to what's-his-name?

- Helen: Richard? - I'm a terrible guesser.

Yeah, Richard. I thought he was the love of her life.

- Try and keep up, will ya? - You got to keep me informed.

Did you wash my bowling shirt?

Yes, dear, it'll be ready for the tournament. Go eat.

Jay: Brad, get Chewie off the table.

April: I can't wait!

Have you seen Charlie this morning, Brad?

Bye.

Thanks.

- So who is this Steve? - The dork from New York.

Shut up. You're such a baby.

What happened to Richard?

All Richard cared about was hog farms.

So? My dad farmed hogs.

Dad!

Brad, what are you sitting at the table

with a thermometer in your mouth for?

I'm not feeling very good. = I'll bet.

- You look okay. - 106?

April: Brad, did you tell mom about your

big geometry test you have today?

Shut up. Just shut up!

Helen: You have a test today, Brad?

You're a real shithead, you know?

Bradley!

Boy, I'm going to wash your mouth out.

Maybe you'll do as well on this test, Brad,

as you did on your last one.

Jay: What last test?

- Bye. Mmmmm. - Brad!

Girl: Come on, April, we're running late!

Get yourself ready for school, boy.

Dad.

You miss that bus, I'm going to skin you

and hang your bones out to dry.

"Thank you for the lovely breakfast you prepared, mother."

Wonder what happened to Charlie?

Woman: Morning, harv.

Morning, sal. What's happening?

Well, this here says that John Travolta

used to be a waitress in fort Myers, Florida.

What's happening here, sal?

Big bowling tournament tonight.

And Charlie, he's sleeping it off in the back.

Oh, be nice, harv. He don't mean no harm.

Ah! Aaah!

They're coming!

They're coming, harv.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I'm getting them through my fillings,

just like last time.

Cut the crap, Charlie.

- Listen. - Jesus.

They're the same ones that ruined my pitching career.

Do you ever consider slowing down

on the whiskey, Charlie?

It ain't the whiskey.

Sal. Sal, you remember, right?

I was a prospect, huh?

And I wasn't drinking then, was 1?

Sure, Charlie, sure. You were major league material.

Right. I had heat.

And then I started getting these messages...

Man: This is patrol g xp 1198

calling Alpha tango delta. Come in.

- Over. - Do you hear that?

- Charlie, it's Jeff. =-Jeff: I'm on route 22.

Come on, lover, pick it up.

- Cut the horseshit, Jeff. - Ooh, sorry, harv.

- I didn't know you were in. - What do you need?

Just signing off for the night.

So sign off, already.

Uh, Charlie...

Why don't you just go on out to Jay and Helen's?

You don't want to get fired, now.

Oh, no. No, I like my job.

Well, you just forget about that martian stuff, okay?

- Forget about that. - Yeah, right.

This town's a zoo.

Prepare for holographic transmission.

In my haste to get you on your way,

there were a couple of things I neglected to inform you of.

We are tracing the crites to a solar system

where only one planet supports life... earth.

Your ship database will contain adequate information

on the culture of the planet.

Your transformation capabilities

should come in quite handy there.

I trust, however, you will be less destructive this time,

considering you nearly destroyed half...

Computer: Earth is a culture of many contrasts.

Their technological advances have been...

Man: Bring him down, bring him down!

J... from the light j

j shadows falling j

jj it's the power of the night jj

jj streets are calling jj

jj power of... jj

jj the night 7j

Jj nighttime's afire jj

we are the heat jj

jj the flame is desire jj

jj burns in the street jj

jj know it's gonna strike jj

jj again and again jj

jj hold on to the night jj

jj hold on till the end j'j

jj power of the night jj

jj streets are calling jj

jj stealing from the light jj

jy shadows falling jj

jj it's the power of the night jj

jj streets are calling jj

jj power of... jj

js ow! J

Jay: Okay.

Okay, I'm ready for that carburetor, Charlie.

Charlie! Give me the carburetor!

Dj: It's 5:16 at keat. K-eat in Kansas City.

Okay, 1948. A Missouri housewife is kidnapped

by six little men with orange heads

on her way to the laundromat.

All right! Whoo!

What the hell was that?

Did you see that, Charlie?

That was the best one we ever did!

Yeah, that was... That was real good.

Homemade. Best in the state.

Charlie, you broke my slingshot.

It's... I can fix this. I can fix this.

You just go get a tin can.

Anyway, like I was saying, this housewife...

What housewife?

I thought I told you to get rid of them fireworks.

You like working here, Charlie?

Yes, sir.

Jay: I've been waiting on that carburetor.

You've got to try and concentrate

on what you're doing, okay?

I'm gonna...

I got a lot to do today, so try to keep up, will you?

- Dad, I asked if he could... - Give me those.

These are not toys.

I want to try to get this thing fired up before dark.

Now what?