Twa-Tiu-Tiann (大稻埕)

Young man, time to wake up!

You're sleeping while I'm teaching?

Ah!

Knock it off.

Why's your thing beeping?

This "thing" is a mobile phone.

Look at you. Tap, tap, tap.

Only your phones.

Nobody reads anymore.

Teaching you history is like playing piano to a cow.

Now, let me show you something.

It's a book.

A what?

Look.

Wow, that's a big book.

Only $2,000.

$2,000?

Too expensive.

It's all about boy meets girl.

A boy, and a girl, right?

Yeah.

Birds and bees, they do it, right?

He takes off his clothes, right?

And she takes off hers, right?

Too much bother.

Two total strangers at the bus stop,

right?

What about that?

What do you say?

That's crazy.

What? Girls get knocked up just like that?

Just like that!

Where do babies come from?

Let me look at the book.

Quick.

What are you doing here?

What's history got to do with me?

Come again?

Where would you be now without history?

A special price for us, Professor?

No way. $2,000.

Not a penny less.

Professor Pig!

Pardon?

Professor P.

Professor P.

Stop messing around.

Wait! Jack!

What's up?

The clock stopped?

He is the one?

Hi, I'm Jack, your lucky star.

Forward the message to ten friends

and you'll have all the luck you need.

But, if you don't...

Don't blame anyone but yourself.

Now, flash mob!

Ok?

Teddy do you love me?

Idiot.

Stop that.

Let me have a go.

Let me have a go.

12:00, Taiwan time.

Happy birthday!

Smile!

It wasn't me.

Jack.

I've met someone else.

Who?

You don't care about me.

You don't know what "true love" is.

But I do.

Hey, what are you...

Hey, hands off.

She's got asthma.

Asthma.

She hates fluffy toys like this.

She's allergic to them, OK?

Take a photo!

Hey, Jack.

Call yourself a lucky star?

What's wrong with you and girls?

I...

How would I know?

Jack.

Sorry.

Mummy is sorry, mummy has to go.

You must remember.

Not to fall for anyone.

Don't believe in love.

Love is the deadliest poison ever.

Just wait till mummy finishes these

and then mummy will go to sleep.

Mummy, don't die.

Sorry.

Mum?

I'm sorry, baby.

Why don't you save her?

Dad, help mum!

Sorry.

Sorry.

Mum.

It's alright.

I'm fine.

Professor Pig says,

If you don't show up for the TTT tour,

he'll fail you. >>.<<

Taipei, TTT wharf, 2014.

Our first stop today,

is the City God Temple.

The history is not the main thing.

People actually come here for the matchmaking god.

Matchmaking God?

Jack.

Just what you need, Jack!

Exactly!

You've just been dumped.

"True love", remember?

Asthma, eh?

You think that's funny?

Please tell me

what "true love" is.

Come along everyone...

Look at the water dungeon.

A very famous person was once imprisoned here.

Dr. Chiang, known as the founding father of Taiwan.

I've got here an article by Dr. Chiang.

Can someone tell me the title?

"A Note from Park."

"A Note from Pool."

Can anyone actually read?

"A Note from Prison."

The flower of youth is...

Can we go now? Miss?

No yet. I'm gonna tell you about the water dungeon.

Oh Miss, they all look the same.

The water dungeon, as you might have guessed...

You two, get out!

What do you think you're doing?

Knock it off, guys.

Here's your commemorative coin.

Come get yours.

Just give me a 10-dollar coin in return.

Issued in 2010.

With Dr. Chiang's portrait on it.

These are Taiwanese artworks from the '20s to the '60s.

We'll start here.

Follow me, please.

Come on, we're almost done.

Stop messing around.

Keep your voice down.

Right, we finally come to

the last part of the TTT tour.

Come on.

Let's do a roll call.

Another $100 each.

$100?

Why do we need to pay again?

Didn't we pay already?

Professor P.

Now, pay attention.

This is "South Street Festival".

This is TTT 100 years ago.

It takes you back in time.

Open any door

and you're back in the Japanese colonial period.

"Call girl" period?

Don't be stupid.

Why do I bother telling you about history.

It's a total waste of time.

Says who?

Yeah, why do you say that?

We all want to be somebody.

Yeah, like all the time.

Good, I hear you.

Great.

Here.

You do it.

Thought you said no photos here?

You're ok.

Whatever.

Who called my name?

Somebody called you?

Look over there.

That handsome guy.

I like him.

I heard him called me.

Hey hottie...

I saw him in my dream.

Let's get to the temple.

Alright...

City God, please help me find a husband.

"Taipei 101, the tallest building in the world."

"It's the opening ceremony today."

"The typhoon is now at its strongest..."

"Yes, over to you."

"Right now, I'm in

downtown Hua-Lian."

"The typhoon Nally is currently..."