Killing It

Oh, hell yeah.

That's badass. You're a fucking warrior.

You're Tarzan. You tame the jungle.

Now do one where you're smiling.

Okay.

Bigger smile.

Bigger. Come on.

Think about all the snakes you killed.

- No, I didn't like killing snakes.

- The magazine sent over a bio that said--

- I was broke and I entered a contest.

I used the winnings to start building my empire,

but it was horrifying.

- Okay, then think about your empire.

Think about how rich you are.

Think about how much more money you have

than every other person in this room combined.

- Come on, man. That doesn't make me smile.

I mean, there's only five people here.

- Hold on, I just gotta swap lenses.

Give me the 50. - Grab the 50!

- You know, I've shot a ton of CEOs, 12 covers.

This snake thing has got to be

the craziest origin story I've ever heard.

- Honestly, that shit was boring

compared to what came next.

Oh, fuck. What came next?

Three words:

saw palmetto berries.

Oh.

They're worth a fortune

and they only grow in coastal Florida.

I mean, okay. Cool.

Cool?

It was a modern-day gold rush. - Yeah, sure.

It just sounds way less exciting than snake hunting.

- That's because you haven't heard the story, motherfucker.

Listen up.

One, two, three.

Welcome to Henry's Farm.

As you can see, we're just getting settled.

It's taken a long time to get to this point,

but we're on track.

- This lush and fecund swampland

is ready to burst forth with fertile abundance.

- Did we agree on that language?

- We'll postgame later. Stay focused.

As my partner was saying,

a purchase commitment from Green Bounty Organics

would allow us to secure additional funding to grow--

- Okay, okay, okay, okay. We're in.

- What? - You are?

Saw palmetto extract is huge.

The whole men's health market is exploding,

so we're prepared

to prepurchase your entire crop.

What do you say?

- I'm sorry, I'm just so used to being rejected.

I was prepared to follow you to your car pleading.

- And I was supposed to tell you

how both of our dad's died.

Gunshot, heart attack.

- Why would that have been relevant?

- Endearing context for our struggles.

- It doesn't matter. Yes, we will take the deal.

Here we go.

Ooh!

- Do you want to sign on the hood of my car?

- Or, if you don't mind waiting,

we can do it in our new office,

kick this partnership off in style.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.

No!

You know, I can actually sign out here.

It's nice to do business in the sun.

Jillian, back desk, now!

Initial here. Sign here.

We're in business. No backsies.

- Yo, it's Zay. Leave a message.

- It's me, calling again for the hundredth time.

Hope you're having fun out west or wherever.

Nessa's coming. I get to show off to her,

so it's a big day here.

Thought I'd give you a shot, see if you answer.

Anyway, give me a call.

This is your brother, Craig, from growing up together.

Gabriel.

There he is. How's it going?

- I almost filled up another crate of the berries, sir.

I love that!

Angel, my man.

How much money did you make me today?

- Uh... - I'm kidding with you.

I'm just in such a good mood.

My daughter's visiting from California today.

She's never seen the farm.

I'm so excited to show her

something I built with my own two hands.

Our own four hands.

Everyone lends a hand. It doesn't matter.

J Glopp, what up, partner?

- I feel so bad parking the Kia next to the billboard.

It's like bringing a hot new boyfriend around an ex.

- I know you love this car, Jillian,

but it's really not that special.

- So now Bluetooth connectivity

is "not that special."

I'm sorry, can you transmit sound through the air?

- That's kind of what talking is.

- Your Toyota Tundra's a fucking joke.

- What was that? - Nothing.

Is Nessa here yet? Are you excited?

You must be so excited. - I can't wait.

It's been ten months. She's 13 now.

She's never seen me succeed at anything before.

- If you want your daughter to like the place,

you might want to have the guy come

and empty the port-a-potty.

- Shayla, it was just emptied last week.

- It needs to be emptied every week, boss.

- There are only five of us on this farm.

It shouldn't fill up that fast.

- Oh, I know it shouldn't, and yet...

- Look, I don't want to get in another fight about this

because my daughter's coming and I don't want to be

embarrassed in front of her, but I go above and beyond

what's legally required of me in terms of sanitation.

- I'm not as versed in shit law as you,

but I do know this: it bakes in the sun,

and if I'm in there for more than 20 minutes,

I feel like I'm about to pass out.

- Why are you ever in there more than 20 minutes?

Whoa, asking a woman?

That's technically harassment, Craig, and you're on tape.

Shayla, it's too expensive

to have the truck come every week.

End of discussion. - Jillian?

- We'll figure out a way to make it work.

No, we won't!

You can't let that absolute

soft serve machine order you around.

- She's not ordering me around. She's my friend.

Jillian, you're a boss.

These are your employees, not your friends.

- You can be someone's boss and their friend.

Chewbacca is great friends with Han Solo.

You do you.

I'm not gonna worry about it

because Nessa's almost here and I am happy.

Hey, Craig Foster.

Yeah. I'm sorry, who are you?

Natalie-Ray Boone.

My family works down the road. You ever heard of Carpets?

- Yeah, the old strip club. - Yeah, that's our place.

We got closed down when this

"Good Will Hunting"-ass stripper

started to poke around in our taxes.

Hmm.

You want to come with me?

I want to talk to you about a business proposition.

Wow. That's flattering.

And as much as everything about your vibe seems normal,

I'm actually really busy right now.

I wasn't asking.

Welcome to Carpets,

where the only carpet is on the floor.

- Fucking seriously, Ray-Nathan?

Oh, shit.

- What the fuck, Nattie? Who's this?

- Oh, this is our neighbor Mom told me to go get.

Well, nobody fucking told me.

- Oh, I told you. You just don't listen to me.

You're always looking at your phone.

- The group chat doesn't care if I'm busy.

When it pops off, it pops off.

- Hey, if you're busy, I can come back another time.

You can call me. - Nah, fuck it.

Probably good for him to see who he's dealing with.

See this gentleman here?

He was supposed to deliver some merchandise for us.

Drugs.

- And that merchandise mysteriously went missing.

He did the drugs.

God damn it, Nattie.

I'm trying to be evocative here.

You got no mystique. That's why you're still single.

- I'm single 'cause I work all the time.

Now, this

is what happens

when somebody messes with our merchandise.

Hell no.

Nobody fucks with the Boones!

Please help me!

Come on. Sic him.

What the hell? Why isn't he hungry, huh?

Did you feed the fucking gator?

- Well, the thing about Buttercup--

- Don't fucking name him, and definitely not Buttercup!

- Okay, first of all, it is a girl