Ride

Let's get started.

Drive safely.

Hello, James.

You have one new ride request.

Hello.

Ride accepted. Let's ride.

As the sun goes down

and the lights come up on Los Angeles,

you begin to hear the true voices of the city.

It's 10:06 p.m., and this is the Voice of L.A.

In 300 feet, make a right turn onto Vine Street.

Today what we'll be discussing

is the "big break" and whether an actor

can have multiple big breaks, just one,

and is there a time in our career

where we can miss our shot,

which that big break is never gonna come again.

In 300 feet, make a left turn.

In 300 feet, make a right turn onto Franklin Avenue.

You have arrived.

And thank you for tuning in with us tonight.

Stay warm out there, L.A.

Hey, Jessica?

- Yeah, that's me. - I'm your ride.

Cool.

- James. - Nice to meet you.

All right.

Where to?

Hey, do you want a water or some gum?

Do they always make you say that?

They do.

But in your case, uh, I mean it.

Uh, no. Thank you. I'm okay.

How long you been riding with us?

About six months.

I use it a lot between, you know, not wanting to park

and wanting a couple drinks.

Yeah, that's cool.

I'm not, like, deeply passionate about it or anything,

but it's nice to think that, you know, because of what I do,

there's less drunk drivers out there.

Not that that would be you or anything.

Well, I mean, everybody in L.A. drives drunk.

Oh, come on, not everybody.

Think about it.

Try and name at least one person you know

that hasn't made a mistake once.

- Mm. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

See what I'm saying?

- I do. I get you. - Yeah.

In 300 feet,

make a left turn onto La Cienega Boulevard.

- Oh, uh, take Fountain. - Oh.

Recalculating.

Mae West fan?

Uh, what -- what do you mean?

Well, there's this great Mae West interview.

Uh, I think it was Johnny Carson or something.

Whoever it was said,

"What's the fastest way to get into Hollywood?"

to which she replied...

"Take Fountain."

That's cool. I like that.

Um, I, uh, I like your suit, by the way.

What, do you, like, uh,

moonlight as a limo driver or something?

I wish.

It was, uh, for this thing that I had before this.

A wedding?

An audition.

Oh, so you're an actor.

Mm-hmm. Unfortunately, yeah.

God, I could never be an actor.

I just -- I can't take the rejection.

See, I just had to realize

that getting turned down isn't a failure.

Not getting auditions, that's failure.

So you get a lot, then?

Uh, my agents have gotten better at sending me out.

Oh, you're repped?

- Mm-hmm. - By who?

- Uh, Abrams. - Mm, you fancy, huh?

Abrams.

They're pretty good. I'm not -- They're pretty good.

There was a dry spell, though, like six months of nothing.

- That sucks. - Yeah, it was rough.

But, um, then they kind of sent me out on this thing.

I think it was, like, the last Hail Mary pass.

Inches from getting dropped, but I booked it.

Oh, what? Congrats!

- Thanks. - That's so cool.

What, uh -- What is it?

Uh, it's no big deal.

It's, like, a guest spot on "Agents of S.H.l.E.L.D."

No big deal? That's a huge fucking deal.

Congrats! That's so cool.

Thanks. It's a henchman.

You know, couple lines, and I took someone's gun.

But still, so cool.

I did start going out a lot more because of it, so...

In 300 feet, make a right turn onto Fountain Avenue.

Um, you should, uh, let me know when it airs.

My roommate, Allie, is a huge Marvel fan,

and she's just gonna freak her shit

when I tell her that my driver's on "Agents of S.H.l.E.L.D."

as a cool villain.

Well, I was -- I was a henchman.

I haven't graduated to villain yet.

Well, I believe in you.

Continue for three-quarters of a mile.

Your destination will be on the right.

Here we are.

That was fast.

Hey, when in doubt, take Fountain.

Yeah, exactly.

You have reached your destination.

We hope you had a safe and pleasant ride.

Hey, can I, uh, tip you or something?

We're not allowed to accept tips.

Uh, the app takes care of everything.

Right. Well, uh...

I'll be sure to give you a five-star rating, then.

Right back at you.

Wait, the -- the drivers rate the passengers?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, okay. So what's my rating, then?

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

Oh, okay.

I'm not gonna leave this car

until you tell me what my rating is.

- It's 3.5. But it -- - Fucking seriously?

- But it doesn't mean anything. - 3.5? People hate me.

- I wouldn't worry about it. - Oh, my God.

It doesn't mean anything, you know?

Well, how do I -- how do I turn this shit around?

Look, you're a five-star passenger in my book.

And that's all that matters, right?

- That's all that matters. - Mm.

Well, uh, thank you for the ride, James.

Anytime.

Oh, uh, you forget something?

So my friends and I

were just grabbing a couple drinks here.

Very, you know, low-key,

if you want to come in for a round.

Hello, James. You have one new ride request.

I wish. But I got to drive.

- Boo. - I know.

Okay, well, suit yourself, but, uh,

we'll be here for a couple hours,

so if you pick up a big fare, swing by.

I'd love that. Yeah.

Okay. Bye.

"Oh, hey, what's your phone number?

Oh, no, here's my phone number."

Fucking idiot.

Ride accepted. Let's ride.

Continue on Sunset Boulevard for three-quarters of a mile.

Turn left.

Continue on Gower Street for one mile.

Ride canceled.

Loneliness is an emotional state

that we have when we're feeling disconnected.

It can cause depression,

and it can even lead to premature death.

Oh, wow.

We're spending less time making meaningful --

This is the Voice of L.A.

The time now is 10:45 p.m.

Hello, James. You have one new ride request.

So your parents went with Bruno?

At least people seem to like you.

Ride accepted. Let's ride.

You have arrived.

Uh, hey!

- What's up? - Are you Bruno?

Who wants to know?

Oh, fuck.

You're my ride. Of course.

Uh, sorry, man. I didn't think you'd get here so soon.

Look, shit got a little messy. Start the meter.

Well, that's -- that's not how this works.

Yo, you're looking sharp, bro.

Is that like a uniform or something?

Something like that.

Oh, hey, man. Uh, can't smoke in my car.

Fuck me. So sorry, brother.

Uh, I'm gonna finish this guy if that's all right with you.

You can start the meter. I don't give a shit.

That's actually not how it works.

Oh, well, fuck it.

I'll throw some extra cash your way,

make it worth your while.

Can't accept tips, bro.

The app takes care of everything.

I won't tell anyone if you don't.

The thing is, this is a New York pack

so the cigs are really fucking expensive.

I know you're thinking I could get the same goddamn cigs here

for half the goddamn price,