Bad Girls from Valley High

This section of the lot is for Huns only, enema head.

Hey, Drew. Charity's old locker?

Yeah, Mr Douglas said that a year was enough.

I guess they're short on space.

I believe this is my locker.

Hi. I'm Katarina.

It's... It's nice to meet... It's very nice to meet you.

This is yours, so that's... Okay.

I hope I didn't upset him.

It's because you're in his late girlfriend's locker.

Late?

When will she be here?

No, she meant late as in dead.

- Hey, babe. - We broke up. Remember?

Oh, yeah. Well, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you a spoiled, slant-eyed bitch.

It was just, you know, it was in the heat of the moment.

Come on, T. You know I still love you anyway, right?

Yo, G-Dog, what's up?

Get your dick mittens off me, spooge.

Okay.

- Hi, Danielle. - Hi, Wart.

Don't you love her cool nickname for me, huh?

- Hi, Jonathan. - Yo, Brooke.

- Wanna have lunch today? - Yeah, I'd love to.

- Is Danielle gonna be there? - Later.

Hey, you bros or hos, you know, need exam notes or a paper done

or you wanna scratch some vinyl at my crib, I'm your homie.

Hi. How you doing?

Good morning, Mr Chauncey.

Hello, Danielle, Tiffany, Brooke.

Hi, Drew.

Before we get started, I want to introduce a new exchange student, Katarina Wolfson.

Yeah.

Settle down.

Miss Wolfson, would you mind telling the class a little about where you're from?

I grew up in Romania in a very small and poor town called Saint George.

The population is 375,

or just make it 374 because I am here.

Well, my mother told me, "In America, if you study hard,

"be honest and always do the right thing..."

"...everything will be fine."

That's it.

Thank you, Katarina.

By the way,

Saint George is in the province of Transylvania,

whose main export, other than the Dracula myth, is chocolate.

My personal favourite is

the cherry-filled chocolate crucifixes at Easter time.

Our next assignment will be

The Merchant of Venice.

Yes!

Who?

I'm sure all of you...

Good morning, students. This is Principal Douglas.

As you all know, it was one year ago today

that one of our students, Charity Chase, passed away.

For those of you still struggling with your grief,

Dr Turner will be offering crisis counselling in Room 105 this period.

Any interested student is hereby excused from class.

Also, don't forget the big pep rally on Friday night.

Read the first two acts for Wednesday.

- We should go. - Why?

Because it's gonna look weird if we don't.

Okay.

Oh, and will the party responsible for firebombing my car

please report to my office immediately?

You're not... You're not gonna go with them?

I didn't know the girl.

Well, neither did the rest of them.

Not really.

Please, if I'm not prying, how did she die?

They say she committed suicide.

They? Not you?

Hey, yo, my people, I'll slip you some guts.

My idea of hell is being stuck in a room with that dork for five minutes.

How long is the MC Wart persona going to last?

- I give it to the end of the week. - What's with his multiple personalities?

It's because he doesn't have one.

Oh, Charity.

Remember, time heals all losses. Next.

Oh, get over it.

So where's Drew?

Probably in the classroom with the new girl.

Where the hell are they?

I believe that's them out there.

I'm just going to the nurse's office.

Hey.

Hey.

You guys are late.

Oh, like they're not gonna be old any more.

Brooke had to get her lip waxed. It took longer than we thought.

- So, how you holding up? - Yeah. I'm... I'm okay.

Must've been weird, it being the one-year anniversary and all.

Yeah, I have to admit it was pretty hard, but...

If you need anything, I'm here for you.

So, better get to my stroke victim.

Don't want Mrs Witt to think I flaked on her.

Can we please have an orderly to Room 103 for a body removal?

Wow.

Do you have to get special training for that?

- For what? - To run bullshit so effortlessly.

It's a gift.

- So did he seem a little down to you? - Hello? Dead girlfriend.

Hey, girls.

Hi, Danielle.

I'm on bathing detail today.

Yeah. Hey, see you in the break room.

Not.

Oh, God, I hate the way this place smells.

Why did you have to pick old people as a community service project?

And why are we here again?

Because you're helping me get what I want, and when I get what I want, I'm happy.

And when I'm happy, I'm not a bitch.

Hello.

Surf's up, Winnie.

I'd like to introduce you to Gary Pease,

who will show us the art and science of gourmet gardening.

Let's go find Gary. He's in the garden right now.

Hello, Gary. Fabulous zucchini.

- Hi, John. - How are you?

Pretty good. Good to see you.

I have to tell you, this is the most beautiful vegetable garden...

Did I wake you?

What happened to Mrs What's-her-name?

She get bored with your company and leave?

So, what do you wanna do today?

Take a nap? Works for me.

That's better.

Sorry, Charity.

- He's not coming. - What are you doing here?

You got to learn that only Huns date guys from Hundred Pines, especially Drew.

He's mine.

- Tie her hands. - You people are not well.

Poor little Charity.

Looking for something?

Ever seen one of those women-in-prison movies?

Isn't it a little late for that?

Maybe we're going a little too far with this.

Jesus! Where is she going?

Wrong way!

Watch out for the fence!

Just a minute.

- What? - I have to tell you something.

I was just down at the front desk and I overheard Drew talking to Katarina.

God, I can't believe this.

Last year it was Charity Chase with her sad little eyes and her dish mop hair.

I mean, we take care of that problem and... What?

If she were any stiffer, she'd be in the Petrified Forest.

Look.

By the by, the three of us stole my father's car when we were 14.

At the age of 16, we gave Brooke's next-door neighbour's dog Ecstasy.

And as you already know, at the ripe old age of 17,

there was that little Charity Chase debacle.

Look, don't you think if she were gonna blow the whistle on us,

she would have done it ages ago?

Stop worrying.

By the by, if I ever get pickled tits like hers, just shoot me, okay?

My dad has a gun.

She still pissed about Drew and Katarina?

Aren't you supposed to be with Mrs Fabrizio?

You know that stupid machine that she's hooked up to?

- The heart monitor? - Yeah. Well, it started whining

and it was totally annoying, so I unplugged it.

Then the doctors came in and they said that I should take a little break.

How could Drew resist?

Killer curves, flawless skin, perfect teeth. What more could you ask for?

- Cherry truffle? - What?

It's Monday. Chocolates from Mrs Witt's closet.

- King me. - Queen me.

Eat me.

- Oh... - Five's enough.

Whitney Houston's husband... What's his name?

He is so over.

- Totally. - Tattoos?

Cool in the right places.

- Cargo pants. - Oh. Stupid,

unless you're from Wisconsin and you need the extra pockets for bricks of cheese.

Two-parent households.

Highly overrated if you're talking about mine.

Nipple rings?

What's with the annoying music?

- It's disco day, don't you love it? - I'd rather wax my armpits.

Hey, geek, hand me two bucks.

You do want to pass trig this year, right?

- You want to live through lunch? - Yeah.

- Hey, babe. - Hi, babe.

- How's it going, Jonathan? - Fine, thanks.

- Hey, Drew. - Hey, Drew.

Okay, this is where you make like sweat and evaporate.

Bye, Drew.

So, to what do I owe this honour?

I just thought you might want some company.

Drew, I'm sorry about all that stuff with Charity.

You know, with me being a bitch and all to her.

You were a bitch to Charity?

Well, not really bitch, just some heated words in gym class.

She seemed sweet, even if she wasn't a Hun.

What the hell is it with you guys and this Huns crap?

Hundred Pines is a high-end housing project.

There's not even any pines there any more. The beavers ate the pines.