Desperate Housewives

Previously on Desperater Housewives.

Bree's new romance got off to a lively start...

- So you're courting me. - I'm trying to.

When will you stop playing hard to get?

Maybe when you stop playing hard to want.

While Lynette's marriage hit the rocks.

I think we're the ones who need a vacation--

Just a weekend, get a chance to work through all of this.

Susan's warning...

About those cookies I made--

Don't eat them. They're poisoned.

That's her, officers.

Became an admission of guilt.

And Gaby was unaware...

That a dark presence

Had arrived on the lane.

Susan Delfino had always played by the rules.

She obeyed every label...

She performed her civic duty...

She respected all legal boundaries...

So when she was questioned

About the poisoning of Paul Young...

Please state your name and age.

Susan was more than a little upset.

My age? What does my age have to do with it?

Mrs. Delfino...

I'm 38.

Am I under oath?

- No. - 38.

I don't think you appreciate

The seriousness of the position you're in.

You could have killed someone at that school.

But I didn't poison the cookies.

Yet you knew they were poisoned.

Yes, by Felicia Tillman. I mean...

Okay, I baked them, but she added the poison.

That was your arrangement?

No! No, we didn't have an arrangement.

She was trying to murder Paul Young.

So all you did was deliver the poisoned food?

Exactly.

No, wait, uh...

No, I had no idea that anything was poisoned, ever.

Except the cookies.

Except the cookies.

Look, talk to Felicia. She hated Paul.

Yes, but you had your reasons for hating Mr. Young, too.

No, I like Paul. His wife gave me her kidney.

After you lost your kidney

in a riot which Mr. Young was responsible for.

Who told you that?

Mr. Young.

He also said he blew the whistle on your internet porn career,

Causing you to lose your job at the Oakridge school,

The same school you brought those poisoned cookies to.

Now how about you start telling me the truth?

I'm not 38.

Find anything?

Okay, thanks.

We found a glass vial and some syringes

in the dumpster behind your apartment.

They all had traces of antifreeze.

Oh, god.

Yes, Susan Delfino had always played by the rules...

But she was about to find out...

This wasn't a game.

SHAHAB_AMIRAN

Sometimes

It's the little things that make us feel secure,

Like an old friend at bedtime...

Money saved for a rainy day...

Or matching coffee mugs.

But there are times when these small comforts

are up against big challenges.

I'm glad we're doing this.

Me, too.

Should have done it a long time ago.

Ha. Completely agree.

We just needed to get away from everything, just the two of us--

No kids, no work, no TV...

What? No TV?

Aw, come on. It's a b&b-- bed-and-baseball.

You gonna take this seriously?

Yes.

I'm taking this very seriously.

Okay.

So what do you feel like doing? You want to go to bed, or...

Bed sounds good. I'm exhausted. Ooh...

U-u-unless you want to--

No. No.

I'm tired, too.

Let's get a good night's sleep.

We have the whole weekend ahead of us.

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be great.

Thanks for dinner. That was amazing.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

You kidding? I got to chase

Twice as many bad guys tomorrow to burn it off.

Good night, Chuck.

Good night, Bree.

That is the one part of dating that I haven't missed.

I know, the whole question of intimacy.

Will he kiss me? Will he not?

Will she be mad if I try?

Will she be mad if I don't?

Then why don't we skip all that

and lay our cards on the table?

Sounds like something that two reasonable adults might do.

I find you very... attractive.

And I think you're a knockout.

Really?

Yeah, that's why...

It's so hard...

Wow, we really are putting our cards on the table.

To wait.

Wait?

Um, just till my divorce goes through, 'cause till then,

I'm technically married, so anything we do is adultery.

You know what? I think that's very admirable.

Yeah?

Definitely. It's refreshing to find

a man whose morality isn't compromised by his libido.

Besides, sometimes waiting can be half the fun.

And just so you know what it is you're waiting for...

Now that's the part of dating I have missed.

See you tomorrow night.

How can they arrest me? I didn't do anything.

They found syringes and antifreeze at your house.

Unless you're a suicidal diabetic,

that's pretty suspicious.

But Felicia was at my house when I was making Paul's food.

Clearly, she's trying to frame me.

Any way to prove it?

The woman hacked off two of her fingers

to frame someone else.

She's a framer.

To implicate Felicia, we'd need some evidence

that she was actively trying to kill Paul.

I might be able to help you with that.

A few months ago, Felicia called me from prison,

said she needed to see me.

You never told me this.

I didn't know what it was about, so I went.

she offered me $10,000 to kill Paul.

What?

This was in the visitor's room? On the phone?

I'll see if they have any recordings.

Might take a day or two.

This is good.

How could you keep that from me?

I don't know. I... guess I was ashamed.

Why? Y-you said no.

Yeah, after I thought about it for a week.

You actually considered--

Come on, Susan. With the financial problems

we were having? And you got to remember,

there was a time I would have killed Paul for free.

2-minute warning till bath time.

Hello?

Hi, honey. How was your flight?

Yeah, hold on.

Sweetie? It's your dad calling from his business trip.

The sound you're hearing is your daughter in a cartoon coma.

Juanita!

Hi, daddy.

Okay, daddy, I love you, too.

Bring me something.

Unh-unh. Upstairs.

Okay, honey. Love you, too.

Bring me something.

I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Gaby, what are you doing here?

Carlos doesn't want us seeing each other,

and I really don't think we should--

I need a gun.

Well, I guess I could spare a moment.

Why on earth do you need a gun?

Juanita swears she's been seeing

this mystery man skulking around our lawn at night,

and last night, I think I saw him, too.

Did you call the police?

And say what?

There's a guy on the lawn?

Look, Carlos is out of town, and I'll sleep better

if I have a gun in the nightstand.

Gaby, I'm not giving you a gun.

Why not? I let you borrow things all the time.

Not things that put holes in people.

Come on. Just a little one--

The kind Nancy Reagan would shoot people with.

No.

Please. I'll be really careful.

This guy's kind of freaking me out.

Gaby, if you're really serious,

I will set you up with a class at my gun range,

they'll teach you about gun safety,

you will get a permit,

and then we'll see about getting you a gun.

Great. So in the meantime,