2012

Hey, hey, watch out. Watch out.

Welcome, my friend.

Great to see you.

Yeah, glad you made it.

This can't be Ajit. He's a little man already.

- Unbelievable. - I hope you're hungry, Adrian.

I'm famished. How are you, Aparna?

- I made that fish curry you love. - I can't wait.

She gets more beautiful every time I see her. Why is that?

Strange, isn't it? But her fish curry is still awful.

You were mysterious on the phone. Why didn't you attend the conference?

- I will show you, Adrian, sir. - Satnam, stop "siring" me.

How deep do we need to go?

Eleven thousand feet.

I searched all over India for this thing.

Used to be the deepest copper mine in the world.

Remember my brother, Gurdeep? He's a student now.

Namaste, Dr. Helmsley, sir.

Adrian. It's just Adrian.

Just don't pour too much, huh?

How do you work in this heat?

You've come on a good day, my friend.

Sometimes it can hit 120 degrees.

You have to come and meet Dr. Lokesh...

...a Fellow of quantum physics at the university in Chennai.

Dr. Helmsley.

So, what are we looking at?

These are neutrinos acting normally.

Minuscule mass, no electrical charge.

They pass through ordinary matter almost undisturbed.

Your message said the count doubled after the last solar eruptions.

That was last week.

But this happened two days ago.

The biggest Sun eruptions in human history...

...causing the highest neutrino count we've ever recorded.

My God.

That's not what worries me, Adrian.

For the first time ever...

...the neutrinos are causing a physical reaction.

That's impossible.

That feels very good.

Please, follow me.

You won't believe this.

This water tank goes down another 6000 feet.

It looks like the neutrinos coming from the Sun...

...have mutated into a new kind of nuclear particle.

They're heating up the Earth's core...

...and suddenly act like microwaves.

Ladies and gentlemen, as promised, no speech...

...just a thank-you...

...because tonight, with your extraordinary generosity...

...we have raised $1.7 million.

Have a stiff drink, because I'm locking the doors...

- ... and passing the hat around again. - It's okay. It's okay.

- I work for the White House. - I don't care.

This is a black-tie event.

Scotty.

Hey. Adrian, I thought you were in India. What's going on?

- I need yourjacket. - What?

I gotta speak to Anheuser. Give me your damn jacket, please.

- All right. - Okay?

- All right, here. Here. - Hold that for a minute, will you?

Hey! Easy, that's a $600 jacket.

Mr. Anheuser?

Mr. Anheuser.

I need to talk to you.

- Do I know you? - Sorry, sir.

My name's Dr. Adrian Helmsley.

I'm a deputy geologist at the Office of Science and Technology Policy.

Excuse me, fellas.

You know that this is a fundraiser, not a frat party, right?

- It's important, sir. - You know what? It always is.

Make an appointment with my... You know, even better:

Have your boss bring it up at the quarterly briefing.

There's a good plan.

I just traveled 20 straight hours to get here, sir.

I haven't slept in two days.

You need to read this, sir. You need to read it now.

Let me guess, national geology crisis?

Excuse me.

- Who do you report to? - Lee Cavazos.

Not anymore.

Alan, bring the car around.

- You're gonna wish you took a shower. - Sir?

You're about to meet the president.

What's going on?

Get that to the office.

No G8! No G8! No G8!

Good morning.

I would like to meet privately with my fellow heads of state.

Mr. Makarenko wishes to have his interpreters present.

Mr. President, I can assure you...

...your English is more than sufficient for what I have to say.

Mr. Presidents.

Six months ago...

...I was made aware of a situation so devastating...

...that, at first, I refused to believe it.

However...

...through the concerted efforts...

...of our brightest scientists...

...we have confirmed its validity.

The world as we know it...

...will soon come to an end.

This dam project will create many newjobs.

The Party and country will assist in your relocation.

Grandma, give me your hand.

- But where are they taking us? - It'll be all right.

Brother!

Grandma, I will send you money.

Who can write?

Who can read?

Who can weld?

Has His Highness had an opportunity to study the dossier?

You must understand, I have a very big family, Mr...?

Isaacs.

One billion dollars is a lot of money.

I'm afraid the amount is in euros, Your Highness.

I put a lot of faith into your organization.

It's a perfect replica, Roland.

There are too many fanatics out there that could damage her.

Just think about the beautiful Buddha statues they blew up in Afghanistan.

Our Heritage Organization has already made selections...

...from the British Museum and L'Hermitage.

I guess she'll be safe now, tucked away...

...hidden in some bunker in Switzerland.

Perfectly safe, Roland.

Only infrared analysis would reveal the difference.

But it's still a fake.

This mass suicide was actually discovered by a documentary crew...

...here in the ancient Mayan city of Tikal.

Now, the victims, and we've seen many...

...are said to have adhered to the Mayan-Quiche calendar...

...which predicts the end of time to occur...

...on the 21st of December of this year...

...due to the Sun's destructive forces.

Thank you, Mark.

Strangely enough, scientific records do support the fact...

...that we are heading for the biggest solar climax in recorded history.

Well, yes.

Apparently many people believe that the Mayan calendar predicts...

...that there's supposed to be a galactic alignment...

I'm a dead man.

I'm a dead man. I'm a dead man.

...it's the end of the world in 2012.

Goddamn it.

Hey, Kate. I'm practically on the freeway right now.

Yes, I'm hurtling toward you as we speak.

Will you relax? Yeah, I'll be there any second.

You know it's a vacation and not a doctor's appointment, right?

That it's supposed to be fun?

You remember fun, don't you, Kate?

Do you remember where you were when it stopped being fun for you?

Yeah. I got it.

Bug spray? Oh, yeah, because it's mosquito season in Yellowstone.

I got a whole bunch. Okay, I gotta go, because I'm in a bad-reception area.

Whoa, man.

Would you look at that?

Sick.

Merrill, I told you.

We have to move back to Wisconsin.

Yeah, but these little mini-quakes are really getting on my nerves.

A little surface crack? You're not gonna be inconvenienced by that.

Right, surface cracks. I got a plastic surgeon for that.

Thank God for those shake-proof coffee mugs, Lisa.

They show the true nature of us Californians.

We'll not bow to these inconvenient things like surface cracks.

If you have a funny mini-quake story and wanna share it, call 555-1070...

- Hi, Daddy. - Hi, baby.

- How are you, sweetie? - Good.

Jackson, what is this?

Please don't call me that. I'm your dad.

Come on.

You're taking them camping in a limo?

Okay, great.

What happened to your temp job?

Oh, you know, better hours, more time to write.

What about sleeping? Have you been doing any of that lately?

I've said it a thousand times, no lipo on Fridays. It's too messy. Hold on.

- Morning, Jackson. - Hi.

- Nice ride. - Thanks.

Guys, have a nice trip.

Remember, watch out for the bears. You know, they're:

Bye, Gordon.

- Love you, honey. - Bye.

- Okay, so, Lil... Oh, yeah. - You tell him.

Tell me what?

She needs to put these on before she goes to sleep.

- Still? - Yes.

Your 7-year-old still wets her bed. That's something you should know.

- I love you. - Love you, Mom.

- Hey. - You okay?

They've been looking forward to spending time with you.

I know.

- So don't be on your computer. - Got it.

Love you.

- So this time, we hit Japan. - So?

Well, you could visit your boy, Will.

Afternoon, ladies.

- Hello there. - Hello, handsome.

Are you even listening to me?