Maraschino Cherry

Oh, Mar. Mar.

You're driving me crazy, honey.

- If you can't stand the heat,

get out of the bedroom.

- Hello. Maraschino Cherry. Hello?

No, Ms. Cherry doesn't take calls before 11:00.

What?

Oh, no.

Mistress Cherry doesn't listen to slave fantasies before 11:00,

you dumb shit.

- Hello, Maraschino Cherry. No, I'm sorry.

- This is Penny, Maraschino Cherry's sister.

- Oh, that's different.

Let me see if she's out. - Just tell her I'm in New York

and I can't wait to see her.

D'accordo.

Where's Mara? - She's with her old man.

He hasn't been feeling himself this morning.

Really?

Madam?

Excuse me.

Maraschino?

Ms. Cherry, your sister.

Your little sister.

Your sister is coming.

- Everybody comes sooner or later.

- Hi. How are you? - Okay.

Now, let me take a look at this.

- Are these cuffs clean? - Sure.

- Yeah, I guess they look pretty good.

Oh, yes. The bullfighter is very popular these days.

That's $23.50.

You want that on the account?

- No, Mara says pay cash.

- Helen won't be coming in today.

Oh my God!

- Thanks. - You're quite welcome.

- Do you take Mastercharge? - Sure thing.

Ah, it's over $25.

I'll have to call this in.

Uh, three o'clock.

Hi.

- Uh, we don't take women before four,

unless you're gay or the wife of a police officer.

What?

- If you have a child in the daycare center, I'll see what I can do.

- I'm Maraschino Cherry's sister. - Oh, so we spoke before.

Well, please come in.

Would you like to be eaten while you're waiting?

- Oh, no thanks. I'm not hungry.

Where is Maraschino?

She's checking her slave down in the dark

dungeon of secret and unholy delights.

- The dark dungeon of secret and unholy delights?

What does that mean?

- I think that means they beat the shit out of you.

- Why does Mara have a masochist here? - Everybody has one these days

just to stay in business to avoid criticism,

even if you don't need one.

- Really? - Yes.

A token slave.

- Is it a male slave or a female slave?

- A female slave.

No sexism here.

- You'll have to be punished this morning.

You're not disgusting enough.

Come lick my ass.

Better yet, lick my cunt.

Harder.

Faster.

Better.

Harder.

Now that we've got your cunt working, think about what comes later.

We're going to try an entirely new area,

a crash course.

Boy, now that's sick.

- Um, excuse me, sir.

Isn't that rather unusual?

- Oh! No, I have an allergy.

Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.

- Well, that's fascinating.

- What do you take for that? - Ragweed.

Okay, great.

Bye-bye.

- Mara. - Penny.

Mara.

Oh, this is such a beautiful place. - Yeah, it's a house.

How are you?

Let me look at you. Turn around.

Fantastic.

You look great.

How are things in Poplar Springs? - Well, not too great.

Since the folks sold the farm, things haven't been so great at all.

Well, with the money getting shorter and folks having nothing to do,

folks having nothing to do,

they're just wasting away. - Too bad.

- Oh, these are from Mama. - Oh thanks, honey.

- Oh, I don't know what

they would have done without their generous daughter,

who is a successful model in New York.

- Well Penny, I have a little confession to make.

I haven't exactly been a successful model.

- You haven't? - No,

not exactly.

- Mara, it would have done your heart

good to see Ma and Pa when the mail arrived from New York.

They always said when Pa opened the envelope and took out

your generous check,

they always said that somewhere in their hearts

they just knew that you worked in a cathouse.

- In a high-class cathouse. - You really made it big.

You have the world by the tail.

- I own a high-class cathouse.

- Well, that's why they sent me here.

Well, they thought they would just forget about buying

another farm and go into another line of work.

Something different. - Really?

How different? - Well,

as you know, Poplar Springs is right in the middle

of a strongly religious and God-fearing area of the country.

So?

- So we thought it would be natural for a middle-income whorehouse.

Oh?

- And we thought that you could tell us something about your operation.

- Well, yunno, sex is like baking.

It all depends on when you take it out.

You're slow.

I'll have to wind you up.

- Do you have a boyfriend?

- Well, no one serious. - Why not?

An attractive girl like you?

- Well, I had a problem.

You know, fellas are only interested in one thing.

Well, you know.

Could just about drive a girl crazy.

Yunno, every guy you meet, all he wants to do is penetrate you

with that big piece of disgusting, hard meat.

Sounds awful.

What did you do about it? - Well,

I thought if all a fellow wants to do is,

you know, get laid,

well, he can just as well drop dead.

So now on a first date,

when they come to the door to pick me up, I give them a blowjob.

I suck them off, and if I swallow it,

they get very relaxed and agreeable for the rest of the evening.

Ahh.

- Let other girls sleep with every schlemiel who comes along.

Not me. - You certainly don't want

- the dick of every Tom and Harry. - No, sir.

Anyway, I'm gay.

- You're gay? - Yes.

- How come? - Well,

we all have our crosses to schlep.

Maraschino

Thank you.

- I'm only gay when I'm very drunk

or very sober.

- It's good to see you.

Now, what can I tell you about the pleasures of giving pleasure?

- Well, will it be difficult to handle the customers?

- Do you have an American Legion post in your town?

- No. - Well, that's a help.

You know, maybe I'll go up and set the operation up myself.

- Do you think I could get VD from a toilet seat?

- No, that's a fallacy.