Mistresses

Why don't you guys stay here in L.A.?

Then, that way, me and Scotty can see each other whenever we want.

I could get into some socal living.

Previously on Mistresses...

Patient's my wife. We are having trouble finding a blood match for her.

She's dying.

- Why would you do this for me? - I want to believe in something.

Was she everything you thought she'd be?

This really can't be how our story begins.

I love you. And I know that I will be with you,

but not right now.

The number you've reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

Just give me a freakin' space already.

- - Hello?

Joss, where have you been?

Oh, you know, driving around

for 95 hours because parking sucks in this city.

No, I mean I never see you.

The only reason I know you're living with me

is there's a pop-tart under the couch.

Yeah, well, I've been, you know,

spending a lot of time at that coffee shop around the corner.

Doing what?

Something you won't approve of.

Caffeine after 2:00?

- Drafting an apology e-mail to Savi. - Joss.

If you'd have helped me with the last one...

The last one was insane... It was 27 pages.

Really, Karen? Is that a fact?

Because e-mails don't paginate.

Honey, listen to me,

you've got to let this go.

She's not writing you back.

She's not writing me back,

and I didn't screw her ex-husband.

I didn't screw him.

Sorry... grind him

in your wedding dress while she held your bouquet.

See? I knew you were mad.

No, I'm not mad.

I'm trying to help you.

Your time would be better spent

repairing your jobless/homeless situation.

You're jobless, too.

I did a shift at the hospital yesterday,

and my unicorn blood goes into Vivian tomorrow.

So, you're employed and a saint.

Th-th-that's, uh, wonderful. I feel so much better.

- Thank you for calling. - Honey, come on.

- I didn't mean... - No, it's fine. You're right.

I... I know. I... I just...

I-I shouldn't fixate on Savi.

Oh, I see a spot. I got to go.

Jo...

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

No frickin' way.

Uh, excuse me. Hello?

Excuse me.

Yes?

- "Y-yes"? - Mm.

Are you seriously playing dumb right now? You know what you did.

Oh, just... here. Here.

Here, here, here. Take this.

What the hell is this?

It's American paper money.

You probably used one or two of these

to buy your sweet little car back there.

Okay, I'll have you know that that's a rental.

Wonderful.

Wow.

You know what? You're not fooling anyone

with your spray tan and your range rover, by the way.

You may look happy, but you're not... You're dead inside.

Dead inside!

Mistresses 3x02 I'll Be Watching You

April: Lucy, hurry up! We're gonna be late for church.

I'm not sitting next to you in God's house.

- Yes? - Hey,

I'm sorry to pop in, but I got kind of a quarter situation.

As in I don't have enough to both wash our clothes

and park the RV on the street.

The meters take credit cards, you know.

Yeah, I don't really subscribe to that whole thing...

Being a prisoner to plastic.

Life's got its own hidden fees, you know.

Laundry room's through the kitchen.

Great.

Whoa!

Lord, what did you do to his hair?

- I washed it. - With what?

Shampoo. I don't know. That soft soap we had.

You brushed it, didn't you?

What do you want to hear?

Scotty, go upstairs and ask Lucy for a scrunchie, okay?

We'll get this under control.

Okay.

Uh, so I'm gathering black hair care is like a thing?

It's a science.

Is this a... A ghost costume, Marc?

No, those are our sheets.

I've had those since college. They were lucky.

You have Scotty sleeping on these raggedy-ass sheets?

- Eh, he likes them. - He likes syphilis?

Okay, yeah, no.

Uh, look, I appreciate your concern and all,

but Egyptian cottons aren't exactly in the budget right now.

Fine. I have some sheets at the shop.

You can have them for free.

Come and pick them up tomorrow.

Did you tell Scotty he could take my scrunchie?

- Thanks for asking me, Mom. -

What do you say we go now?

- Um... - Now. Let's go now.

Woman: Excuse me. Excuse me?

Oh, there you are. Hi.

Yes, I was wondering if this seat is taken.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm actually saving it for a friend.

Hi. It's April, leave me a message

at the sound of the beep.

April, where are you? The service is about to start.

I'm center-left. Well, you can't miss me.

I'm wearing an enormous hat.

I'm now seriously rethinking...

Shh! No cellphones in church.

- Hi. - Well, hi, there.

How can I help you?

Yeah, I need to find my sister.

I need to know if you've booked a trip for my sister recently.

Her name is Savannah Davis.

- And who are you? - Her sister.

Well, Savi's come here for years,

but I've never seen you before.

Well, that's because since the advent of the Internet,

most people use services like Expedia.

But hold on... That, while convenient,

may deprive them of the beautiful human interaction

that you and I are having right now, Phyllis.

Please, just help me.

My boss won't like it... Privacy rights.

Thank you.

I'm not the only one that works here,

- so I have to check the system. - Check the system.

- Aha! - Aha?

- Savi did book a trip with us. - Where, Phyllis? Where?

Australia, two years ago.

A getaway for her and Harry.

So, with the reviews the way they are,

I plan on being way overbooked.

Whoa, there he is, chef Harry Davis...

The man, the myth, the legend.

Pleasure to meet you, sir.

Ellis Boone.

Sorry, mate. Do I...

I'm Greta's silent partner.

Yeah, but now that the little lady is opening a club in Paris,

it would appear my silent days are over.

I'll be taking care of

all the pesky little front-of-house details.

Great. Uh, so this is a...

Is this a staff meeting?

- Should I have known about this? - Uh, well, I don't know.

Uh, do you see any kitchen guys here?

Uh, no. You don't.

So, I don't know. I guess you're good to go.

You can, uh, start your prep. Mince your herbs.

Okay.

I'll, uh, ship off to work, then, shall I?

- Okay, great. - Okay. Uhp.

- Boom. That's good stuff. - Yeah.

I'll be here if you need me, all right?

- Excellent. - All right.

So, guys, this is what I was thinking as far as sections...

April: Do you like solids or patterns?

Now, this one is soft.

Marc?

- Marc! - Yo!

"Yo"? I'm picking out your sheets?

Thanks, April. You're awesome.

So, that's an online university?

No, I meant you should be picking out your sheets.

I dig the ones you're holding.

And you're sure I can't help you pay for them?

Not without money.

Why you got to do that in front of the lady?

- You're kind of killing my game. - Kimmie, can you

go and dust the shelves, please?

Sure.

You know I'm doing you a favor, right?

She's not a good girl?

With the sheets! The favor's the sheets!

I normally sell these for 300 bucks.

Well, that's a racket.