Due South

Y'all talking to the wrong guy, massah.

I got to go, and I can't drive with my foot like this.

How about you? You look like you could use some fresh air.

I hate fresh air. Why don't you get vecchio?

- Vecchio is on holiday. - Yeah, where?

That club couples place in mexico.

Vecchio, club couples? Who with?

Remember that chick he busted last month for passing bad cheques?

Oh, man, that's low.

I grovel once in a while, but to bust a chick for a date?

The man has no standards.

What's going on here? I'm talking about a day off with pay.

Yeah, but it's in the country, lieutenant.

Good morning, sir.

Ah, constable. Come here, I want to show you something.

What do you see in front of you?

- Photographs. - That's america.

That is the heartbeat of america.

I mean, white picket fences, courtyard in the square,

cracker barrel in the general store,

and all you have to do is give me a ride up there.

I'll show you a place where people still care about their neighbours,

where you can park your car on the street all night

and it'll still be in one piece in the morning.

You smell apple pie every day.

Sounds like home.

Although, of course, we tended more

towards brown lichen tarts than apple pie, but...

- right, right. Well, we better get a move on,

to be in time for the game.

Game, sir?

And it's a beautiful day for baseball

here in the tri-county region, as the greater willison area...

where we don't just produce milk, we produce goodness...

wraps up its week-long festival of cheese

with a season-ending three-game series

against cross-county rivals the corrington crowns.

There's been no love lost

between these two teams this year,

as willison has yet to defeat corrington in regular season play,

a season that's been a disaster thus far for the hawkeyes,

with the team rife with dissension,

much of it centred around the play of vaunted slugger kelly olsen.

Olsen is in the throes of a season-long slump,

wihch, barring a turnaround, could end his career.

Love you, son.

Love your hairstyle, but I'm telling you,

you got to swing at least hard enough to crack an egg.

- Hawkeyes manager huck bogart, with two more victories,

would enter the record book

as the "winningest" manager in minor-league history.

- That's the juice I'm looking for.

That's a nice cut.

- But amidst rumours that his contract won't be renewed,

this may be his last shot at the record book.

Hey, romeo.

We got this thing called practice.

Ladies.

- And just about the only bright spot for the hawkeyes this season

has been the play of mid-season acquisition

pete consentino, whose play down the stretch...

hits like that one... ho, ho!...

they tell you you're going to see a lot more of this guy.

You know, baseball has its ups and downs, folks.

It's just like life.

I guess that's why they call it...

america's pastime.

Shut her down! Don't move!

Don't! - Ah!

- Hector! - Shut up! Come on, move it!

- Move it, move it! Let's go, let's go!

Hector.

Oh, my...

- so he graduates from the police academy,

he works a year in chicago, then he comes up here

to nowheresville to take a sheriff's job.

Real waste of some great training.

- I wasn't aware you had a brother, sir.

- Anyway, he calls me and he's freaking out.

It seems there's a crime wave here in nowheresville.

I mean, arson at the local factory,

the stores being broken into,

somebody's trying to sabotage the local baseball team.

Well, after I stopped laughing...

- you find this funny, sir? - Yeah, well, after you've seen

14-year-olds killed by hypos, yeah.

- Point taken. - It's vandalism.

You know, bleachers collapsing,

somebody's poisoning the food concession, stuff like that.

That does sound serious, sir.

- That's why we're here. We're the pros from dover.

I figure we could wrap this up maybe in an hour.

Constable...

can I ask for your advice?

My advice, sir?

Yeah, your advice.

If I can help.

- If you had somebody you were trying to forgive,

no matter how hard you try to forgive him,

you just couldn't forgive him,

what would you do?

Keep trying, sir.

All right, let's go.

- Excuse me, folks. Can we get through here?

Yeah, thanks.

What the hell is going on?

The players are walking off the field!

There's been a robbery, huck.

They got the payroll.

And hector has been hurt.

- Who cares? We're ahead 6-1, we forfeit the game.

A man is hurt, huck!

- He's not a man. He's an accountant.

Look, we got to find money.

Two games to 3,000, and I can't win them by myself.

- Winston. - Olivia.

Are you all right?

- I'd be a damn sight better if we had a sheriff with some stones.

Hey.

- I'm going to do something about that, olivia.

- Thank you for your support, mr. Mayor.

- Look, I've done everything I can for you, welsh.

But nobody's going to stand for this anymore.

We already lost johannson's lumber mill to arson.

The department store closed after that last robbery.

What the hell do you expect me to do?

Keep you on till every business we have is run out of town?

- I told you, I've called for outside help.

Experts in the field.

- Your dog's got a bladder the size of a zeppelin.

- Salty food. I can't seem to keep him away from it.

You see something?

'Afternoon.

You get a number?

Yes, I did.

- Mm-hmm, they were heading east out of town.

Not that that means anything.

Yeah, just have your troopers keep an eye out for me, walt.

Thank you.

Harding.

Wilson.

What happened to your foot?

Ah, a junkie.

Chicago.

What happened to the junkie?

They had to wire his jaw.

Gum?

Sure.

So these are your headquarters, huh?

Yeah.

Just like the city,

only smaller.

Bernie,

get on out to the truck stop at the interstate.

See if anybody saw anything. - You got it, chief.

- Hey, who's that? She's... - deputy.

Like a detective, you know, just like the city.

Gentlemen.

There it is.

It's the stadium payroll.

- And I imagine you'll be wanting to speak with this fellow.

The other two got away,

but we got a good look at them. - Rusty barnstead,

what have you gotten yourself into this time?

You know this guy?

He ever stop crying? - He's upset.

- Yeah. He wasn't upset when he cracked that guy's skull in.

Can I talk to you a minute?

We got guys in chicago

could put out cigarettes on their tongue and don't flinch.

- I walked rusty to school on his very first day, okay?

You know, I live with these people. It's a community.

You can't come here and terrorize them.

You called me for help.

- And I want your help, but this is willison. It's not chicago.

You got to respect that. - You called me for help.

Okay? I got my methods.

If you can live with them, fine, I'll help you out.

If not, I'm out of here.

You just haven't outgrown it.

- What's that? - Competing with me.

Competing for what?

Everything. For susie glesson.

For who's going to be quarterback on the football team.

For who can sit on the railroad tracks the longest.

I always could stay longer.

For dad's approval.

I never needed his approval.

Oh, no?

No. Let me tell you something.

How could I possibly compete with all of this?

- I was hoping for more than that, you know.

I was, I was...

I was hoping that...

forget it.

- It turns out that rusty met the other two men in a bar

three days before the robbery.

They wanted a driver who's familiar with the area,

so we can assume they're from out of town.

I've taken the liberty of removing