Roadracers

You're late!

Well, I got here as fast as I could.

Well, the only reason I'm here

is 'cause you like this music.

Sarge caught me speeding. I had to... I had to shake him.

Come on.

Yeah!

Yeah, I know it's my mistake.

Look out, baby.

Watch it, buddy.

My god.

What'd you think, Donna?

Well, it's all right.

A little rowdy.

What are we gonna do tonight?

I thought we just did it.

Nah, we gotta do something else.

No, I can't.

My parents are gonna be mad if I'm late again.

Screw your parents.

Ok, let's go.

Hi.

Just cleaning it up for you.

Tell you what...

why don't you give me the last two tickets,

close this thing down, join me for a free movie.

I don't like saucer movies.

It's not a saucer movie.

It's a warning.

I don't like warnings, and I don't like you.

Yeah, you do.

No, I don't.

If you're not nice to me, I'm not gonna ask you out.

I don't want to go out with you!

See you later, darling.

The Nixer. Hurry up. Hurry up before he sees us.

Come on, he's catching up! Go!

Get the big part?

Hey, I nearly had her going.

Are you sure she didn't have you going?

Only below the belly button.

What?

Don't worry. I let it drain into my boots.

Y'all see that new Sci-Fi flick down the street?

Do we have to listen to this, dude?

It's the only point of view

in this graveyard I haven't heard.

This one was about people from outer space

who stole the souls of humans while they slept.

There was this one guy and this girl

trying to get out of the city of monster humans

to warn the world of what was happening.

How does it end?

His girl falls asleep and becomes one of them.

Is there a late show?

Yeah, I kept trying to tell him,

"bag the girl, man, bag the girl."

Because he had to go tell the world

one girl ain't worth the world.

Wait a minute.

What if he loved her?

What if that's what the world meant to him?

Yeah, if she meant the world to him,

he should stay with her, don't you think?

Fuck that.

I thought you were taking me out, dude.

We are out, honey. Look around.

Come on, darling.

Why don't you get out right here, Nixer?

We'll hang out later.

Hey, dude...

Look who's coming.

Hey, it's dude... the human anteater.

Looks like Sunday school let out a little early.

Look at his girlfriend.

What are you doing, dude, smuggling maids in from Mexico?

Cayate, Pendeja!

Speak Spanish to me. It turns me on.

You're just jealous 'cause I speak two languages.

You better stick to Spanish, 'cause your English bites.

You puta.

You're sure looking pretty tonight, sister Teresa.

I got a boner the size of your head.

Shut up, loser.

Hey, that's my sister, you little weasel.

I'll kill you.

Let's get out of here, dude.

Hey, stop! Her hair's on fire!

Her hair's on fire!

Put it out!

Where are we going next, dude?

This is really romantic.

Really romantic.

Take me home.

Yeah, take her home.

Come on, Donna.

Shit.

Hey, they fell out! Stop the car! They fell out!

Damn it!

I'm gonna get that dude.

Get out.

Kiss me good night.

Inside.

Your parents might be up.

Are you kidding? This place is dead.

Well, I guess not.

Right on time as usual, dude.

I brought you your newspaper early.

I guess I should've kissed you out here?

That's all right, Donna.

Y'all hold hands?

Hell, yeah.

Now you see?

You see how carefully she molds the bread to it?

Notice how the bread changes its texture.

Now, my own personal theory

is that it's partly the grease from the wienie,

and it is partly the sweet angel touch of her hands.

My mama's made these for me

every day since I joined the force.

Well, she taught me

to always carry an extra one in my pocket...

bless her heart...

in case I need a little pick-me-up to keep me going.

There you go.

Not yet!

I want you to just smell it.

You gotta learn to utilize more

than just your eyes and ears.

I show this to all my new partners.

Tricks of the trade.

That's the key.

Anybody'll tell you. You know the tricks,

you'll know the trade.

Now dig in.

Goddamn! That woman has got the best hands.

Yeah.

Put that in your shirt pocket.

Fuck you!

Hey.

Now, you pay attention to something here.

These kids ain't the same anymore,

and you know what's behind it all?

Rock 'n' roll.

That music is turning the kids into a bunch

of sex-hungry, beer drinking, road-racing werewolves.

There goes that dude!

Goddamn motherfucker!

What's all the hubbub, bub?

That was a hell of a stunt you pulled last night, dude.

Yeah, you boys should be more careful.

Somebody's likely to get hurt.

Don't you get smart with me, boy.

What's he been eating?

Hey, his mother made 'em for him, chump.

She cook in the barn?

Get out of the car.

Hands on the door.

You gotta be careful with these punks today.

They're all packing switchblades.

You carrying a switchblade today, punk?

You packing heat?

Why don't you check up on your own son?

Check his pockets.

Yeah, check 'em real good, junior.

Maybe you'll find some of them dog biscuits his mama made.

Hey, his mom does it 'specially for him.

I bet she does.

You know something?

One of these days, I'm gonna bust you real good.

Why not save us some time and do it right now?

Well, when I bust you, it's gonna be for something

that you can't walk away from

like the smiling little jackrabbit that you are.

You know, I'm so close to kicking your ass right now,

I can damn near taste it.

It's got a bit of a whang to it, don't it?

Now see, I could run you in almost anytime I feel like it,

but I figure... Jail is too good for a boy like you.

This is my town.

Nobody makes their own rules in my town.

You take care of yourself, kid, you hear?

He may look and sound like your uncle Charlie,

but it's not him.

Half the people in the town are aliens.

Half were about to be aliens.

They're all like zombies,

going through their normal routines,

but without any emotions.

What the hell you guys talking about?

Invasion of the body snatchers.

It's a movie, J.T.

Just shut up and cook, all right?

We're talking about a movie.

Shut up, punk, or I'll spit in your burger.

I wish you would.

Couldn't taste any worse, J.T.

What time's that show on?

Keep it up, Nixer.

9200, but it really starts at 9:10.