The Devil's Brigade

Lt. Col. Frederick, good morning, sir.

We're a bit late, sir. Could you hurry, please, sir?

The Allies were in trouble...

...and so was I, that summer of 1942, when I arrived in England...

...on what I was sure was a fool's errand.

I'd come from Washington to explain the US Army's strong opposition...

...to one of Lord Mountbatten's favorite projects.

I'd written the army's critical report in what I thought was plain English.

I was puzzled and annoyed at being sent 4,000 miles to say it all over again...

...particularly to Lord Mountbatten himself.

You've never held a field command, have you?

- No, sir. - No combat experience?

No, sir.

By virtue of what special knowledge...

...do you so dogmatically damn our plan of action?

You propose, in a period of four months...

...to recruit a unit, half-Canadian, half-American...

...and drop them in Norway in the middle of winter.

You have a new snow machine.

What kind of officers and men will you recruit?

How will they be trained, organized and equipped?

Your plan doesn't say.

The most important thing is, once you get them there...

...how are you going to get them out?

There's been no provision made for that.

We're not unaware of the problems, Colonel.

Nevertheless, we're going ahead with the project.

If you've already made your decision, what am I doing here?

- Thank you, Colonel. - Let's go, Bob.

Gentlemen, I think we've found our commanding officer.

If he'll take it.

He's more likely to throw it right back in your face.

Care to bet?

So you left Washington for this, Colonel?

Don't move, Colonel.

Why in the hell did you have to shoot him?

You see, sir, we didn't feel like waiting around till it starved to death.

Now, look, Captain.

That kind of smart-ass talk don't go good with me at all.

You just be careful of that kind of talk.

Col. Frederick. Maj. Cliff Bricker, sir.

I started to collect snakes, caught one yesterday.

I've got 'em in my footlocker in my room.

You're interested in herpetology.

You like snakes.

I hate 'em. Scared to death of them. That's the reason I joined the paratroops.

See, I hated to fly. Scared to death of jumping.

But after 50 jumps, I just loved it.

Danger, Colonel, that's the best tonic there is.

That's the reason I put in for Special Forces.

Major, when you address me, take the cigar out of your mouth.

This is my office, Major.

The name of this outfit is the First Special Service Force.

- Where were you when I arrived? - There was nothing to do here, sir.

We decided to go in town and look around.

A blind man could see a thousand things to do.

Sir, you being in Washington, you haven't been around like me.

You see, I've been in nine different camps.

I've got to tell you this, sir.

Never have I seen anything so out-of-the-question hopeless...

...as this joint is.

There's absolutely nothing it doesn't need.

"Hopeless."

That's why we've got it, Major.

And that's why I've got you.

You've been in and out of camps...

...because you're the biggest hustler and scrounger in the US Army.

In exactly 10 days, our first recruits and volunteers arrive.

Whatever they and this camp need, you're going to supply.

How you do it, I don't care.

Just start hustling. Cardwell?

Move it! Come on!

Line them up on the double! Move!

Come on! This is no Sunday school picnic!

Move it! Come on!

You think maybe somebody somewhere has it in for our peerless leader here?

The summer I worked in a fish cannery, we threw away better material than this.

Come on, you men, move!

Hate to break up the game, fellas, but when my country calls...

Cut it out!

- Trouble, grease ball? - I told you, don't call me that.

What would you like me to call you? "Hotshot hustler," "Senor sharpshooter"...

...or just plain "punk"?

Watch it. Here he comes.

- You heard him. Line up! - What's going on here?

Not a thing, buddy boy. Not a blessed thing.

Pick up that hat and put it on, soldier!

And I warn you, don't you give me any trouble.

Break it up!

Get that man!

Break it up!

We're going to try to make some kind of a company formation out of this.

What are we doing up there?

I got stomach gas real bad.

I think I can cure that.

Ten hut!

Thanks for waiting, fellas. Sorry I'm late.

Don't you know how to fall in, soldier? Fill up this spot.

Ten hut!

Detail all present and accounted for, sir.

I regret their behavior, but that's the nature of the beast.

"Beast."

That's why they were transported like cattle?

Sir, some them are so fouled up, they must have emptied...

...every stockade in the country.

If I were you, I'd ship them right back. What the hell's the army doing?

Just about what I expected. Since you're not me...

...would you see that they get to camp, please?

Yes, sir. Captain.

A-ten hut!

- Lieutenant. - Yes, sir.

We're told that men evolved from lower animals.

Apparently, you think it should be the other way around. That's all.

Right face!

Forward! March!

Hut, two, three, four!

Your left.

Soldier, get those dark glasses off.

- Where's your gear, fly boy? - Seems I neglected to bring it with me.

Listen to the sugar plum. He neglected to bring it with him.

You look a mite neglected yourself. How come I didn't see you on the train?

I'm the inconspicuous type.

- Listen to him. Ain't he cute? - Leave him alone, lard ass.

- You're asking for it, dago, you really are. - Knock off the chatter, and get in step!

How about it? Got a cure for that, Sergeant?

Yes, sir. Double time! March!

- That's the name of the game. - What's your name, Luckhouse Louie?

Listen, we're not sharks in the game. Luck's got nothing to do with it.

- Talkin' about luck, know how I got here? - Who cares?

A sweet young thing in San Jose says I raped her...

...takes all my money, every cent, and blows the whistle on me.

They give me five years in Leavenworth, or join this fearless fighting outfit.

- How's that for luck? - Yeah, it's a great country.

Every slob can get clipped, whipped, and double dipped at the same time.

Beat your gums, dago. Beat 'em till they bleed.

I'm out $6.

Now, come on, deal the cards, damn it.

The only way out of here is over.

By balloon or P-38?

Did you ever hear of Bernheimer's world-renowned circus?

What about the Flying Greco Brothers?

Hold still, right?

- I'll be damned. - Omar Greco.

- They call me Bronc. - All right, Bronc.

My real name's Bronco Billy Guthrie.

- How many times you made it out? - About five.

Bronc, I got a system, but I need a partner.

Let's hear about your system...

...partner.

All right. Come on.

If I'm gonna make it...

- Anybody question the requisitions? - No, sir. It was a breeze.

We even got a wave-on from the guard.

Beautiful.

That's just fine. Great. You guys get them around back fast.

Next trip, the toilet bowls.

All right, big mouth, that did it.

- Wait a minute. It was all my fault. - Butt out!

Get him!

On your feet, dago. You got more comin'.

Change direction right!

Right wheel.

Mark time in front.

Canadian company...

...halt.

Left turn.

Maj. Crown, sir. Canadian army. Reporting for duty.

Glad to have you with us, Crown.

Ready, company...

Capt. Cardwell, get these men into formation on the double.

Sergeant, company formation on the double.

Company formation over here and on the double, let's go!

Come on, move it. On the double.

God save the King.

God save us all.

Parade rest!

Welcome to the First Special Service Force.

There's only one really important thing to know and remember about the force.

It's the easiest combat unit in the army...

...to get out of.

All you have to do is fail to measure up.

You'll be returned immediately to your former unit...

...or predicament.

It's entirely up to you.

You Canadians, I'm told...

...are the handpicked best of the best-trained army in the world.

We'll soon find out about that.

You Americans, for the most part...

...have an entirely different reputation.

I've been supplied with full details on your military and moral delinquencies...

...prison records, how many times you've been drunk...

...AWOL or both.

I know all about you...

...and I couldn't care less.

I want men that are tough...

...Iove to fight, fight to win, and would rather die than quit.

Now, that's asking a lot...

...but no more than you're capable of if you'll accept the challenge.

We'll soon find out about that, too.

Good luck to you all. Dismiss your men.