The Princess Comes Across

Oui, madame.

I've lost my dog! He's gone!

My dog! We will find him, madame.

L'entre des passagers est a gauche, madame. Thanks.

Madame est perdu son chien.

Oh, son chien!

Que est-ce? Sais pas.

Que est Elle? Elle est la princesse Olga!

Ah, oul. La princesse Olga de suede.

Your highness.

Wait till I get my breath. Wait.

- Wait. - Wait. - Attendez.

All right. All right.

All right. Ca va.

Your highness. Permit me, your highness. I'm captain nicholls.

It is with pleasure-we, too, are pleased.

What? Oh, I beg your pardon. My ship is honored.

It is with the deepest of pleasure-oh, now, now, no pictures, no pictures.

No pictures? Oh, I beg your pardon. I was only trying to help.

Thank you, but I like my pictures in the papers.

People see, they say, “Princess Olga of sveden.”

So, if they like me, they like “sveden.”

That is the least that I could do for “sveden”- I mean, Sweden.

So...

We are ready.

Thank you, your highness.

May you have a pleasant voyage, your highness.

It is sure to be one on your beautiful ship with so famous a commander.

Thank you, your highness.

Princess Olga of Sweden? Right.

What about this? Sir, I am the lady gertrude allwyn,

lady-in-waiting and companion to her highness.

Right this way, your highness.

Oh, nay, we are so sorry, but no wireless.

This isn't radio, your highness. This is for the associated newsreel.

Oh. You wish we should speak in Swedish, French or Russian?

English, if you please. You know, the regular thing.

“Hello, everyone. I'm sailing today.”

By the way, Princess, where are you going? We go to Hollywood.

To see the stars? No, to be the stars. We go to make a picture.

You're going to act in the picture?

We have a contract. The contract says we act. We say nothing.

And what is the name of this picture? The name.

The name, please.

It's here, in the contract. Just a moment.

The story is lavender and old lace,

but the name of the cinema she done him plenty.

It will be changed again or we come home.

Have you a favorite movie star, Princess? Oh, ja, ja.

Would it be a male star? Oh, sure.

If the question isn't too personal, his name?

We tell you. Mickey “moosie.”

Please, Mr. Mantell, don't unpack.

This suite belongs to the Princess.

We've been all over that. Easy on those silk shirts!

Who calls for the laundry on this canoe? I'm only doing my duty.

Well, do it some place else.

But please, Mr. man tell. I'll transfer you to a cabin every bit as good as this one.

I reserved the royal suite. I paid for it; I like it.

I don't see why I should get out.

There's been a mistake. There's royalty aboard.

This suite has been reserved for royalty.

Yeah? Well, in a quiet sort of a way, we're royalty ourselves.

That's king man tell you're talkin' to. His band's known all over Europe.

And when it comes to playin' a concertina, he's tops.

Don't forget that, sailor.

Mr. man tell, I beg of you. I implore you!

I'm a bighearted guy. I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll share the royal suite. We'll draw a line...

No, that's impossible. Then I'll match her for who gets it.

You're making it very difficult.

You figure it out. I'm staying.

Let's move and quit arguin'. What's the difference where we sleep?

Tuck in your shirt. We're staying.

Your highness.

We are rather crowded, nay?

Your highness, I tried, but he refuses to leave.

Refuses to leave? Why?

There's been a slight mistake, your highness. Now get this straight.

This suite belongs to the Princess.

Now get out before I throw you out. Uh, boys, the bags, out.

Hey, what is this? Come on. I said get out, get out.

Don't you know royalty when you see it?

- - This is very annoying. - I'm terribly sorry.

I reserved this suite before I knew your highness was to be aboard,

and, unfortunately, my companion objected to leaving.

I trust your highness isn't upset by the way things got, uh, screwed up.

Screwed up?

We are quite satisfied. Now if you will favor us with your departure.

Oh, sure. Well, I hope your highness has a nice trip.

And if at any time I can be of service, just give me a buzz at...

- - What's my new cabin number? - B-81, sir.

Just give me a buzz at-good day.

Huh? Her highness said good day.

Oh. Well, good day.

We regret this inconvenience, your highness.

- It won't happen again, your highness. - This is all right.

Come in.

What, again?

L, uh, forgot my razor. Pardon me.

Of course, if either of you have any use for a razor, I'd be glad to...

Oh.

A razor? What a vulgar person!

Heavens! That fellow is taking a bath!

What are you doing?

Your highness, there's something wrong with your tub.

What? You see, the water runs in and it runs out,

but it runs out faster than it runs in.

I discovered it this morning. You can't take a bath in that much water.

Well, if you're a “ploomber,” why don't you fix it?

I'm not a "ploomber," but I think I could fix it. Have you got a screwdriver?

A screwdriver? Her highness is not in the habit...

Of going about with a screwdriver on her person.

Please go away. Well, I was only trying to help.

May I suggest that when you want to take a bath, that you take a shower?

Or, of course, there's always the ocean.

I'd like to smack that guy right in the kisser.

Fine talk.

Do you realize he almost grabbed the royal suite from under our feet?

Just the same, princesses do not go around smacking young men in the kisser.

Visitors ashore, please.

Well, how'd you make out?

She was a little cold. Remember, she's a Princess.

Why should I remember? And even if I wanted to, how could 1?

I didn't want to stay in that sissy cabin.

Did you see that hair? That's what you call a royal blonde.

Open the trunk. What's the idea?

You oughta know flowers, music, wine.

Then I have to find out if there's a husband.

There's the one you used on the Italian countess.

No, that's no good. Remember, she swam back.

Every dame I went out with brought along water wings. How about this?

Yeah. I'm going to fix it with the purser so I can sit at her highness's table.

Hey, she's royalty, and everybody knows who you are.

You couldn't make the grade if they gave you radio city.

Yeah? They just gave me radio city. Twelve weeks at my own terms.

You will see that the Princess Olga has every possible convenience.

Yes, sir. Naturally, you advised her highness...

That she would sit at my table?

Yes, sir. Any other suggestions?

There are five important police officials aboard, sir. Police?

They're sailing for an international convention in New York.

Would you like them at your table, sir?

I don't even want them on my ship. They're troublemakers.

I've seen it happen again and again.

Trouble's their business. They love it so much it follows them around.

If I'd known they were going to be aboard...

A message, sir. Important.

I knew it. I knew it.

I knew it!

Come in.

More flowers!

Oh, they must have set us back plenty.

Oh, they're not expensive.

They are what is known to the trade as funeral flowers.

I don't care, gertie. I like flowers even when we send them to ourselves.

Well, we sent them to ourselves... From every prince in Europe.

Oh, gertie, you think of...

“King man tell.” king? Aren't you smearing it a bit?

King man tell? I never even heard of the blighter.

I gave a hundred francs for that myself,

and I put in prince curt linden of swartsheld's card.

I distinctly remember doing it.

I think I smell a “moosie.” huh?

Jd what is that?

Why, it's-it's one of those things...

You know, come-to-you, go-from-you things.

A concertina. And very vulgar.

A definite symbol of the lower classes.

Put the thing on the floor and it crawls.

But I like it.

Who is making that appalling noise?

Mr. king man tell, your ladyship.

Will you kindly tell this man tell person to stop at once?

The Princess cannot endure the concertina.

Very good, your ladyship.

Mantell, eh?

Now I know he's no good.

My dear, I am an old woman. I have traveled at home and abroad.

And never, never have I known any good to come out of a concertina.

Jj.

A message from Princess Olga.

What'd she say?

The Princess says your music stinks.

My name's cragg. I understand the captain wishes to see me.

Oh, yes, inspector. Mr. lorel, this is Mr. cragg of Scotland yard.

Mr. lorel is of the Paris slreté.

Lorel, of course. We had some correspondence last year. Forgery, wasn't it?

- Yes, monsieur. - You were very helpful.

Won't you be seated? The captain's expecting other gentlemen,

and he'll be here himself almost any moment.

What's up, purser? Is it something urgent?

The captain will have to give you the details.

It seems something has happened aboard which requires attention.

Hello, steindorf! Oh, my good friend, cragg.

Now begins already a pleasant voyage.

Monsieur lorel. How do you know?

Oh, elemental. Your clothes are Paris,

your nose is of the sdarete, I'm a detective,

and just between us, you were pointed out to me.