Cottonmouth

Now Father,

I'd be remiss if I didn't say a few words.

Out on the trail, Ed and I were strangers

sleeping cold nights on nothing but a blanket of cow dung.

Ed knew everything.

He took me under his wing.

Now I've seen this man fight off wolves.

I've seen him nurse calves back to strength

when we didn't think they had a fighting chance.

And well that's 'cause this man right here,

Ed, had a big heart.

I demand admittance.

Ed Dantes, we are here to arrest you.

Now, now there must be some sort of a mistake.

There is no mistake. Ah!

Y'all look beautiful tonight, by the way.

-Now hold on a second. -Now listen.

This man is not who he says he is.

His real name is Mr. Bill Gatlin.

-Gatlin? -Uh-uh. I have

a bounty confirmed by the Pinkerton's Agency.

Hold on. Lemme see that.

-Stop! -Now, just stop struggling.

He can plead his case in court, sweetie.

I promise.

-Sophia! -No.

I'll come back.

Ed!

Don't give us any trouble, Gatlin.

-Come on now. -Sophia!

I'll come back.

You never really know who someone is.

I will get to the bottom of this.

I promise you that.

Ah!

Ah boy.

That water tastes good. Real good.

Hey, don't get any ideas now, okay?

Come on. baby.

Well, will I see a judge?

Oh yeah, there it is.

Billy...

when are you going to take me to the judge?

Come on, Billy. You know me.

Don't you see Eddie?

I am the hammer.

Out here, the Marshalls do not roam.

Those that pay get their way.

I bet like-- like most cattle fellas,

you probably started out as a 13-year-old butt boy...

worked your way to the top, huh?

-Please. -Now past ripe age,

a grown man and not a penny to his name.

Not worth it right now.

You son of a bitch.

Goddamn it, my horse.

Now you know it's only 15 for cadavers.

He's just resting.

Come here, honey. Ah!

Ah!

-So, who he is? -Eddie.

You know this is Dr. Victor Kane.

He's a true innovator in human reform.

Reform?

Yeah.

Anybody gonna be missing him?

No. Not this one.

All right.

Well, y'all have fun.

Well, either get up, boy, or lick my boots.

Oh Lord.

Hmm.

Who are you?

You play five card draw?

I know the hands.

Knowing the hands ain't playing.

Where did you get these cards?

I used blood to draw the diamonds and the hearts.

And the spades and the clubs?

What's your bet?

Well, you dealt your hand from the bottom.

What are you gonna do?

Fetch your sheriff?

Let me guess.

You're an innocent man.

Damn right I am.

Well... regale the tale, amigo.

Start from the beginning.

We got nothing but time.

There's a saloon in the town of Ingalls.

A De-Leon, an oasis for weary travelers.

But if the De-Leon is an oasis,

my Sophia is the water.

Her mother Valentina snagged a plot in the land race.

Those two women built the only house of elegance from mud.

Stop it.

It wasn't easy though.

- It had to be tough. -Get out.

Mama? Mama? Mama. Mama.

I just finished my last drive.

I was getting married, so,

my friend, Frank, and I rode to the town of Ingalls

for the ceremony.

You cheat!

Yeah Dantes.

Where have you been?

You said stick to the road.

Ooh. No, I didn't.

I said you stick to the road.

All's fair in love and war, Ed.

Yes sir!

Remember, this is a classy joint.

Oh, I got class,

I mean, they're singers not whores.

Well, if they're singing for pennies,

imagine what they would do for a dollar.

Billy Dunn's Inn was

the closest lodging to the saloon.

A man could board there, gamble,

drink till your heart's content

and even bed the working girls, if you want.

Wasn't my scene though,

but Frank took to it like a bead of honey.

Amigo, you are on the precipice

of making a very difficult decision.

Which one of these ladies would you like to bed,

Ed?

You have some fun.

Don't be late for my wedding.

And this is your buddy?

Hmm. Keep going.

Yoo-hoo! Ladies and gentlemen,

the Dunn Inn's latest trophy,

George Bitter Creek Newcomb. I bagged him today.

Billy fancied himself a part-time bounty hunter.

Two dollars for a photograph.

I, my friend, will take two,

one for me and one for my friend.

A souvenir as your last night as a free man.

All right now. Have we met?

The name is Ferrin.

I am thrilled for you.

There is a lot of potential

at that saloon and those kittens.

They could use the help.

Could be a nice attraction at your saloon.

Well, you'll have to talk to Valentina about that.

Of course. Now get in there.

It's your turn. Come on.

Not with the body.

Very well. Very well.

Here we are.

Let's see if you can outshine them, huh?

That's gonna be dirty.

Darn it.

Water!

-I can't take this. -All right.

-Gentlemen. -He's dead now for sure.

-Yes, he is -Billy Dunn?

He is the one.

He framed me,

barged in on my nuptials

and claimed I was wanted under the name Gatlin.

Gatlin.

That's right.

Oh, I knew a Gatlin,

tall eastern dandy type.

A real con man.

Type to carry a .32 in his pocket.

Hustled cards all over the territory.

He say he is always had a one-eyed jack up his sleeve.

You snotty little sharper.

Liquors, lies, and ladies,

that's his world.

Some advice for a happy marriage,

keeps scum like him away from her.

You knew him?

Oh, I knew him as a man not to play cards with.

Wait a minute...

do you-- do you see what's going on here?

You got the saloon,

you got the inn,

you got a great woman.

I can assure you I am a scoundrel.

No, we are talking a fine claim, man.

Sophia will be the first real family I've ever had.

This woman, a saloon, this land

it's everything I want.

Yeah.

You got a nice setup here, Ed.

Thanks again for being here.

I am going to go for round two.

Easy now.

-Why don't you fetch me a drink? -Mm.

Did you enjoy your trip to the saloon?

Yes.

And Sophia,

she is the most incredible woman I have ever seen.

Makes me wonder, how did she end up with a putz?

Now wait a minute here.