Ziegfeld Girl

Girls, girls, girls.

Mr. Sage, where do you find all these beautiful girls?

- You follow Mr. Ziegfeld sometime. - I tried that once, but he lost me.

- I almost forgot. Mr. Zieg... - He's been trying to get me on the phone.

What is it about a telephone makes you want to answer it?

- Good morning, Mr. Sage. - Good morning, Mr. Sage.

Mr. Ziegfeld's been calling you all morning.

What have I done to Alexander Graham Bell?

- I don't mind telegrams. They don't ring. - Take off your hat and smile.

I don't mind him calling. That's why he underpays me.

- Be here tomorrow at 11. - But he calls me...

and gets me up at 2 in the morning out of a sound sleep. I get insomnia.

Take off your hat, smile winningly.

- Mr. Slayton, Miss Sawyer. - How do you do, Miss Sawyer?

- How do? - Take off your hat, smile winningly.

Yes, sir.

- Just my hat? - Yes, just your hat.

You think you're picking them.

The boss is on one of the greatest voyages of discovery...

since the days of Americus Vespucci.

He found one on a Staten Island Ferry, one on the Bronx Express...

two in an all-night laundry. - Fine. Be here tomorrow at 11.

Oh, well, don't you want to see my legs?

That's not our department, honey.

- Did you call me "honey"? - He calls everybody honey.

- What's biting you, honey? - Now you're doing it too!

I've been warned.

Look, kid, the Follies are life, and life is a cafeteria.

You look at the pretty dishes, pick out what you want, but you've got to pay for it.

There are signs up all over the place, "Not responsible for valuables."

Get it, honey?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Are you sure you know what we're driving at?

- It's kind of subtle. - Yes.

Keep on saying that and see where it gets you.

Hello? Yes, Mr. Ziegfeld.

It's for you, Mr. Sage.

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

Where are you? Yes, Mr. Ziegfeld.

- Suits and furs. - Second floor, first elevator.

So he looks me over, and when he gets to my feet, he says:

"You'll do, and I like my ankles slim too."

- Yeah, and how'd you come back? - Hard. I said, "How do you like your heels?"

- Gee, that's terrific. - Yeah. He said he was Florenz Ziegfeld.

What a nerve!

When you're quite ready, miss.

Hey, wait for papa!

- Surprised to see me, Red? - Gosh, what if it was Ziegfeld?

Mezzanine.

- Stationery? - Two on the aisle.

I mean, two aisles over.

If this happens, it's the biggest thing that ever happened to us.

- Second floor. Coats, furs, Paris gowns. - Second? Thank you.

- Gil, stop. Listen... - Okay, okay.

There, we're stopped.

Baby, I'm practically a success. The boss says to me today, he says:

- "I've been watching..." - Why shouldn't he pick me out?

What? Anyways, he says, "I've been watching you.

You're slated for a job that's twice as good as the one you work."

And I says, "Twice?"

He says, "Next week, you go from the 21/2-ton trucks to the 5-ton trucks."

- Oh, that's great, Gil. - Then he says...

Listen, a man came in here a little while ago...

and said he was Florenz Ziegfeld.

Well, I thought he was just being fresh, so I was fresh right back.

Well, now, honey, what would he be doing in an elevator?

I don't know.

Maybe going up and down in here got you dizzy, huh?

Why?

If a girl gets into the Ziegfeld Follies, she's made.

Oh, Gil, I'm sorry.

- I think it's swell about the truck. - Yeah, yeah.

Wouldn't you think I'd get used to going down in this elevator?

But when you kiss me...

No kidding? You feel like you're going down in an elevator?

How do you feel when I kiss you?

Feel like I'm going up in an elevator.

- What's the matter, stuck? - Yeah, and we like it.

Miss Regan, come with me, please. Take the car.

This gentleman wants to speak to you. Miss Regan, Mr. Sage.

- Hey, that wasn't her fault back there. - You're a very lucky girl, my dear.

- What's your full name, Miss Regan? - Sheila Regan. That full enough?

Too full for Mr. Ziegfeld, but he can change it.

Where do you live?

Brace yourself, pal. Brooklyn.

What is your phone number?

Flatbush 7098.

I suppose Mr. Ziegfeld can change that too, huh?

- Yes, to Butterfield, pal. - Oh, now, wait!

You will be at Mr. Ziegfeld's office tomorrow morning at 11:00.

Nod once if you've heard me.

Very lucky girl, my dear.

Hey, what's the matter?

Well, tomorrow morning at 11:00...

I'm a Ziegfeld girl.

Just like that.

Hey! Order me three of these in different colors.

They don't come in different colors.

Think the leopard will change its spots for you?

What else?

Well, Gil, how do I look?

You look all right, Red. Don't sound so good.

Thank you.

Yes, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Miss Gallagher of Ed Gallagher and Company?

That's me!

Mr. Ziegfeld will try to see your act tonight.

He'll try.

You'd think he had to fight his way into the theater.

It'll take a miracle to make him catch our act.

This is the place they dish those miracles out, honey.

They ran a fresh one up for me.

Mind if I touch you?

Maybe those miracles are catching, like measles.

- Oh, Miss Gallagher? - What?

Mr. Ziegfeld wants to know where you're playing tonight.

Oh, the...

Harlem Opera House.

Well, I'll give that Ziegfeld bird just five minutes to get here.

- If he doesn't show, he's lost me. - Pop, give him a few minutes longer.

Not a second. When he gets here, that's our cue to be hard to get.

- Right now, I feel awful easy to get. - Don't ever be.

You got everything your mother had, and she was big time...

after I ironed out the kinks in her technique.

Gosh, I hope he liked our act.

I'm getting so tired of tank towns and trained seals.

For you and me both.

Not that I haven't known some very charming seals, but...

- It's him! That's him. - He just got in under the wire.

Won't you come in?

You're Ed Gallagher and Company?

In the flesh, my man. As big as life and twice as natural.

I'm Noble Sage, Mr. Ziegfeld's strong right arm.

Oh, come on in, come on in.

Here, have a chair.

Thanks. I've got one.

Mr. Ziegfeld saw your performance tonight.

Did he like it? Did he say he liked it?

How is Ziggy?

- You know Mr. Ziegfeld? - No. He never had the pleasure.

You're very lucky. Mr. Ziegfeld would like to see you in his office tomorrow.

Right! What time?

- How about 11:00? - Right.

- That's the New Amsterdam Theatre. - Right.

- 42nd Street. - Right.

And say, tell Ziggy he's getting the best act in vaudeville.

- Who should know better than me? - Oh, Mr. Gallagher...

Mr. Ziegfeld isn't interested in the act, only your daughter.

- Right. - No, wrong.

I won't be there at 11:00, Mr. Sage, or ever.

I couldn't. Not without my father.

Why, without him, I'm nothing at all.

If Mr. Ziegfeld can't understand that, how could I work for him?

I couldn't respect him.

No. Tell him thanks very much, but I can't accept.

Susie. I said, right. I mean right, Mr. Sage.

My kid will be there.

Right.

And tell Ziggy he's getting a break he don't deserve.

I'll be right behind her showing her how every step of the way.

Right!

Oh, Pop.

Don't worry, baby. You'll be all right.

Our act's like a snake. You cut it in half and both ends wiggle.

Chin up, shoulders relaxed...

and don't forget to smile.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, hey, hey! Come up out of that hole, baby.

- You're not a showgirl. - I'm sorry.

Good thing you outgrew those knock-knees.

Jerry!

I hate to admit it, but this is my kid brother.

- Jerry, this is Susan Gallagher. - Hello.

Hiya, Susie.

Pony-size, huh?

Ma made you lunch. Says you got to keep up your strength.

You'll need it to fight off those stage door Johnnies.

What do you know about them?

I was born in a theatrical trunk, but the lid wasn't shut.

I think my pop left it open on purpose.

He says it's what you don't know that can hurt you.

Now, what could you learn out of a book?

- Hiya, John. - Hello, honey.

That's Frank Merton. He's one of the stars of the show.

- He's got the most beautiful voice. - Yeah?