Night Call Nurses

Cynthia.

Cynthia.

There's gonna be a lot more Cynthias, you know.

I know, it's just, if I'd only stayed with her.

If you'd only, what, stayed with her around the clock?

What about the other patients in suicide?

I don't know.

It's not your fault.

Guess not.

You know, Barbara, I think we should let Sandy

blame herself for every patient that can't be reached.

Yeah, I think you're right, Janice.

Yeah, that way I figure it will take her

about three months to go completely bananas.

Right, and then she'd still be with us.

But as a patient.

I thought the prison riots were over.

Dr. Becky Smith, please report

to the sixth floor.

Excuse me, nurse Mayall.

Who's the latest victim of the police in the ward?

Do we really need quite so large a delegation

to get through the day's hospital gossip?

Why no, nurse, we just, and wondered.

It's John Sampson, suicide attempt.

And it needn't concern your prison ward case.

John Sampson, of the prison riots.

Ooo, my, aren't we well informed.

Now, don't you girls come out with any special edition.

The last thing we need here

are clamoring reporters and picket lines.

Don't worry, Miss Mayall, we'll button up.

Have you girls really nothing to do?

Paging Dr. Frank Dory.

Yes, yes of course.

Now then, young man, your name please.

Last name first, first name, middle name last.

It was like that night in Tulsa.

There was nothing else I could do.

I had to make the contract.

I know I did.

I beg your pardon?

Your name, please.

Could we have your name?

Toby, Kyle, is that right?

No middle name.

Oh, I don't care.

I can't blow arrow feather, no I can't.

What the hell, what's one more trip for Chrissake?

I gotta pay six bills a month.

Young man, you're not being very cooperative.

Now, you can't be admitted until I get this information.

I have to fill out a 1034 and pink slip you.

Otherwise you'll sit there all day.

Oh, nurse, can you take care of this patient, please.

1034, a pink slip, it's visual and auditory hallucination.

I think it's one of those LSD cases.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, why do I get all the nuts?

What do you see?

Between my mirrors, I see everything behind me.

What's behind you?

The truck, the rig, the lights,

the little trucks moving in and out

of the traffic on the road,

and everyone's going so fast,

and, my God, I've gotta shift down.

I can't shift down, now what's the matter?

I can't shift down.

Kyle, do you know where your truck is?

My truck.

I left her, I gotta get back to her.

Kyle, your rig's alright, you left it on the highway.

It's in the garage.

Kyle, what are you on?

I'm on a combo of laughers, criers and side-winders.

Set it here, friend.

Where's he taking me?

To that big truck stop in the sky.

Come on.

Now, you mind the double clutches, boy.

Thus, your position with this organization

is hereby terminated.

I failed to become aware of the

invisible negligence with which you've

been conducting the company's business sooner,

only because of my extensive facial disfigurement,

and subsequent major surgery made necessary by a

pyro-maniacal employee almost as incompetent as yourself.

Furthermore,

I did not send for you.

I know, I brought you some fresh flowers.

This is a private room, not a conversation.

You're welcome to bring the flowers to my funeral,

but until that day, I will not

be disturbed by you or anyone.

Just thought you could use some cheer.

Maybe a little bit of light.

Dammit, girl, close that.

Most people enjoy sunlight.

Makes them feel alive.

I am not most people.

I am Miles Charles Bailey, the largest

single patron of this hospital.

And if you value your dubious position here,

you'll see to it that you don't enter this room again.

Good day, Mr. Bailey.

Sorry.

These young nurses can be very trying at times.

I'm forced to live with it,

but you'll be leaving us soon, won't you?

To escape from your suffocating, maternal embrace, madam,

is the sole incentive for my existence.

Please, remove this.

You may give it to a deserving psychopath.

Shouldn't those bandages have come off about a week ago?

When you complete your psychiatric nurses training,

you can formulate policy.

I'm sorry to be so stern with you, Barbara.

That's okay.

But you do disappoint me.

The way you slink about in a uniform two sizes too small,

and no name tag?

One would expect you to be in there,

wiggling your little ass for some

of that nine million dollars.

Isn't that wild?

It was just sitting in my hospital mailbox.

Now, why haven't gotten one of those?

I always heard blondes had more fun.

Dear Sandra, I've watched

you at work and at play.

I've seen the way you've flaunted your body.

You will be made to suffer for it.

If you are ever without your friends, I will hack you.

Sounds like a barrel of laughs, doesn't he?

Uh-oh, Bathrobe Benny's at it again.

Good afternoon, ladies.

I'm so glad to see you looking so chipper

and bright on such an exquisite day.

You seem cheerful as always this morning, Benny.

Well, you know, the sight of such a charming girl

always gives a lift to an old man's spirit.

Now, why did you have to go and do that?

When we were having such a nice conversation.

Imagine, a man of your age.

Young lady, age has nothing to do with it.

I've been doing it all my life.

A bit late to change my ways, wouldn't you agree?

I think it's time we went back to your room.

Fine, fine.

Paging Dr. Mary Louise Cole, Dr. Paul Ceras.

Au revoir, my jet-age Florence Nightengales.

Or, should I say, goodbye?

Hey, he seems like really a sweet guy.

It's just a speed freakout.

Anyway, I think he's gonna be alright.

I hope so.

What is this?

Hard-hearted Hannah is softening up?

Is this the same girl who keeps giving us lectures about,

don't get too involved with the patients?

Oh, enough shop talk, girls,

I've gotta be back in two hours.

Night call?

Not me, I've got a free 24 hours.

I think me and my favorite grad student

are gonna go out sky diving.

Hey, that sounds like a gas.

You bet.

Police will reveal neither the location

of the hospital where Sampson is now being treated,

or any details of how he sustained the injuries.

On the Asian front, American B-52's bombed

God, it's good to get away from that hospital.

I feel almost normal again.

Dr. Brammell is gonna be

really disappointed to hear that.

Hey, layoff.

You know, I'm sure there's not another patient

in suicide who's exhibited a stronger death wish

than us jumping out of that goddamned plane.

Anyway, they're really not that different.

Well, if that's the case, then why

don't you get us a bed in your ward?

I mean, when I'm away from you,

I experience all kinds of symptoms.

Like depression and acute anxiety.

Oh, shut up.

I love you with all your symptoms.

How can you be so speedy at that?

You've always been that way, you know that?